Hello my Beautiful Beloveds!! All I can really say is WOW! What a time to be in a body on Planet Earth! And personally, in my body at this time, as a major cycle ends and a new one begins. There is too much going on in the astro to explain well so I’m going to talk about it in terms of my own experience because my life appears to be unfolding in perfect alignment with the broader currents. This should no longer surprise me because, duh, and yet I am near constantly gob-smacked, marveling at the symmetry.
So. We’ve been with a lot this year. There has been the all-pervading energy of many planets in retrograde, meeting up with each other in challenging aspects that kind of force us to look at the underside of everything, both in our own lives and in the collective evolutionary arc. We’ve had the opportunity to really see how things are, to pull the blinders off for good and declare our willingness to be with what is. And fortunately (or not), 'being with what is’ is our singular option now. During the age of Pisces, which we’ve just come out of, we could build elaborate structures of illusion that kept us safely ensconced in a bubble of how we wished things were. Bubble life is over for the foreseeable future. Our work now is stretching and conditioning ourselves first to hold what is, and then to facilitate reality for the highest good of all. And we’re being called to do this during a time of great chaos on our planet, when the ones who are unable to accept what is are fighting to maintain the old ways - which is frankly nuts because the old ways are already dead energetically. What we’re seeing is merely a ghost of the past, the imprint left behind by our collective illusions. What illusions? That the feminine is less than the masculine. That we need to work very hard and follow all the rules so that we may be gifted with a life whose value has been dictated by those with the most power and the biggest microphone. That we need ‘help’ accessing the Divine Consciousness within us. We have been systematically shorn of our own innate knowing, but that’s over now. And what an awesome gift and responsibility, to have our eyes wide open, to understand that we must architect the new way, free from illusion. The young ones coming in now are aware of this awesome power and responsibility, which is why so many of them are beset with anxiety and a tendency to check out via _______. As awakened women, as mothers and aunties and sisters and grandmothers, it is our job to hold the container for this new world that is birthing. We do this within ourselves first. Our inner work is the container.
For me, I have spent the year in a type of life review with regards to my daughter Nikki. As she finished her last year of high school and took on more and more responsibility for her own life, a natural process began within me of revisiting all the places we’ve been energetically, all the selves we’ve expressed, all the growing we did together. The denser side of this process called me into judgement and regret and I categorically refused to engage there. Oneness has taught me how all is perfect, how this life is for us, how there is always an opening into a higher octave of experience and expression. And so this review became a joyful celebration of all that has been, the magic and wonder, sweetness and love and also the anger, overwhelm, confusion, and disappointment. All are part of what is. For now. There was an image that kept appearing in my mind, of concrete, once wet, now solidifying, as though the past was being set in stone. I did not engage with this either. The past is never set in stone – because there are an infinite number of perspectives through which we can revisit what has gone before, and every single one of them is ‘true’. As I evolve as a human and mother and become more facile with engaging with multiple perspectives, I will likely revisit her childhood many more times, with a broader and broader view and ability to hold more of what is. Isn’t that wonderful?!
This review process wrapped up for me at the end of July and began for Nikki literally the following week. She began seeking out old videos and photos, and asking us questions about memories she has. A few weeks ago, she was laying on the couch on her phone and I asked her to unpack her suitcase from Hawaii – which had sat in her room untouched for a week. When she resisted, I pressed her that unpacking was likely more important than whatever feed she was scrolling on her phone. She replied that she was engaged in a ‘very important life review’ that was necessary and absolutely the best use of her time right then. Alrighty!! By the time we took her to Chapman last week, we had all moved past the profound cycle that was her childhood. We had completed that segment of our relationship. We still had to go through the physical steps of packing her up, taking her to school and participating in the two-day extravaganza that Chapman puts on for parents and incoming freshman. It was brutal for all of us, because energetically we were already past it - but the physical reality had to catch up. We were all so relieved when Wednesday night came and we could leave, tipping into the place we already were in the unseen, where we have ‘handed her off’ to herself, and she has joyfully received her life as her own. I don’t really have words for how good that feels, but I can say I actually felt the shift happen in real time. After a very drawn out candle ceremony goodbye, (where she layed in my lap for an hour while I held her and let the huge energies move through as silent, steady tears), she left us, weaving her way alone through a huge crowd, back to her dorm, into her new life. Geoffrey and I literally fled, away from the campus toward our car. As soon as we were out of the collective energy of the other parents and kids and their goodbyes (WHICH WAS SO GIGANTIC I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU), on the sidewalk outside of campus, I felt the cycle complete, felt the arc become a circle, and a profound weight lifted from my chest. My heart felt as light as I have ever felt it, and it remains so today.
And so we move into the next cycle of relationship with this wonderful woman who is our daughter. We are feeling our way into it as it’s brand new. I am constantly reminding the mother that I was that she no longer is on active duty. She gets to relax now, so that the mother I am becoming finds her footing and voice. So that I can see my daughter with new eyes and relate to the grown-up her, the one who – for the most part – is capable of parenting herself. This is allowing a whole new sense of mutual respect, admiration and support, as well as a deeper aspect of friendship and love. And now I get to look to my own life with new eyes, my days untethered from the active routine of mothering. So much goodness and possibility! What a gift!
Getting back to the astrology, this is exactly what we’ve been with – using the retrogrades to see, understand and lay the past to rest, so that we can with new eyes move into the future. So that we can know that in the midst of the hardest parts, when life is extra (as it is now on Earth), we have the ability to feel it all, hold it all, allow it to move, evolve and reveal - and then release. We have the ability to facilitate our experience with Grace, Stillness and Peace. And we support this ability by doing those practices which build these qualities in us. September will bring the blessed relief of forward movement, rebirth, and fresh air. The remainder of the year supports us in clearing ourselves of old viewpoints, patterns, ways of being, and stepping boldly into the unknown. We can do this. Because we’ve got ourselves. And that’s more than enough.
