WHALE MEDICINE

So we went to the whales and it was beyond anything I could have imagined. It was my first time leading 'sacred travel' which simply means going to an energetically powerful place and weaving ceremony, circles, shamanic practices, yoga and the like throughout the experience. Six women said Yes and with Dawn (who planned the whole thing logistically) and myself, we were eight. I had never been to Baja and I could feel it from the air as we landed - a very powerful place. I'm not entirely certain of the history of that land mass and there is a lot of energy there! We visited islands, lagoons, volcanos, ancient caves where ancestors drew their stories on impossibly high rock faces and finally the birthing waters of California Grey Whales. Along the way we breathed, made offerings and prayers, spun sacred geometries with the rising sun. We communed and danced, laughed and cried. We hiked into a vortex to connect with our ancestors and more deeply know our place within the mandala of life. Everywhere we were received with love and respect - from the land, the waters, the beautiful people of Mexico and perhaps most profoundly, the whales.

I was unsure how my nervous system would do, intimately holding a group of women I had never or barely met. In service to the trip (and myself), I did kundalini practice every day in the three months leading up to our departure. Each week I got quieter. And that stayed with me throughout the trip and is with me still. I did not need to fight fear or doubt or worry because it simply wasn't present. I could viscerally feel the trip before we went and it was very, very good; I merely allowed that to be. In the process I kind of disappeared; my personality, a miasma of wanting to be good, seen, recognized and...everything else the ego longs for, receded. I simply became the one who communed with the depths on behalf of the ones on the trip. And the women happily went deep with me, their angels, guides and ancestors celebrating in the unseen. I felt the cosmos itself receive us with gratitude.

When we got to the whales we were already open, dancing in the multi-dimensional spaces, primed. And the whales came up to our boat as promised, offering themselves up to give and receive love. It was surreal. It was so big in its goodness, I was literally pinching myself to stay present to take it all in. It was GIGANTIC ya'll.

Before our last boat trip, I prayed specifically for Mama whale to join us. We had seen plenty of mamas as they brought their babies to us, and I wanted one to stay close the way the babies did. And of course she came and stayed. Her energy was solid and still, a deep hum, so different from the babies. We were all overcome, yelling over and over "Mama! Mama!" And "We love you!!" There was so clearly an open channel between us of giving and receiving and she delivered a depth of Love that is hard to describe. It's with us still, our definition and understanding of Love stretched beyond return.

In the aftermath, Joy. I can feel it more palpably than ever. And Joy does not feel like the opposite of sadness like I imagined; it simply feels boundless and still, a sweet neutrality, over-lit and undergirded with a profound knowing that all is well. And so it is.

(photo credit: Dawn Feuerberg)