Equinox Blessings Beloveds! As September draws to a close, I
find myself counting my blessings, offering gratitude for the ever-present
abundance that is my life and allowing myself to feel more deeply than ever
before. I write this from an airplane on my way home from Hawaii where my
beloved and I just completed a five day workshop on Sacred Relationship and
Sexuality that has opened me in ways I cannot yet fathom. And always in perfect
timing as the prevailing energies now through the end of the year are all about
Relationship, so we will be deeply supported as we integrate and expand on the
work.
The work was largely about embodying archetypes and how the
Divine Masculine and Feminine work together to form wholeness and balance in
Relationship. We just passed the Fall Equinox, a balance point in Earth’s
yearly journey around the sun, when day and night are of equal length, offering
us an archetypal moment to feel our own still point of balance. Do we hang out
in the light, forsaking darkness? Do we shun our own darkness out of shame or
fear? Do we allow ourselves to be the full spectrum? As humans we are all of
it and to function fully we must have understanding or
at least knowledge of our dark side, otherwise when it comes online – as it
always will - we’ll go unconscious. Or we’ll subvert, pervert, mask or whatever
else we habitually do to avoid owning it.
What does that look like in the real world?
Say as a child I was not noticed or praised. Part of the
feminine ‘package’ is the inherent desire to be noticed and praised and so when
I did not receive it, I subverted the desire and made it mean I’m not worthy of
notice or praise. This makes me angry and sad. Forty years later, when I buy a
new dress to wear to my husband’s work event and also get my hair done and he
doesn’t notice, what do I do? If I’m not in touch with my dark side, I likely
won’t understand my subverted anger and feelings of unworthiness. So I’ll
project the energy of that unmet need onto my husband, making it his fault and
getting angry at him for not noticing my efforts. And I’ll add it to my
ever-expanding list of ‘Ways That He Fails Me’ which is a non-reality that
literally cuts away at the lifeblood of my marriage. Or, if I’m aware of my
darkness around how my unmet childhood needs created this habitual patterning,
instead of getting angry and blaming him when he doesn’t notice, I may go to
him with my hand on my heart and show him my sadness around that. And, if I’m
really hip to my needs and his functionality, I might go to him before he even
has a chance to notice me and dance around him saying, “Do you like my new
dress and hair as much as I do?!” If I’m bringing the fullness of my feminine
energy to this dance, he will most definitely shower me with appreciation and
praise. And if not, I am wise enough to ask him for it, saying, “I’m really
feeling the need to be noticed and praised right now.”
Understanding our darkness
begins with the Feminine. At our inception, as our bodies formed inside our
mothers, her electromagnetic field imprinted upon our developing field. There
is no way this can be avoided. And so whatever our mother was feeling – fear,
grief, anger, overwhelm – was hardwired into us. This is the basis of our
‘mother issues’ and we all have them. And then, whatever our mother felt about
our father was also hardwired and became the basis of our father issues. In
normal human functionality, we either assimilate or reject our parental
patterning. Assimilation means despite our best efforts, we wind up sounding
and acting exactly like our mothers, which can create feelings of
disassociation and self-loathing. And if we reject our mother, we use all our
energy to do the opposite, which also creates tension and self-loathing because
ultimately we know we are not free to be ourselves. We will marry our fathers
or his opposite because of this imprinting. Only when we release ourselves from
this habitual wheel of assimilation/rejection can we become liberated to who we
truly are, so that we can make choices and design our lives from the creative
pulse of desire that flows through us. Only then can we truly deliver what we
came here to be.
And so we do our mother work. The good news is
we don’t have to go back and understand our mothers! We can work
multidimensionally, outside of time and space and literally reprogram our
developing selves in utero. We can bathe our electromagnetic field in utero with what is also (eternally) present: Oneness, Absolute Love, Peace, Joy, Clarity, Purpose. We can tap into all the good that also flows through our ancestral line, through all of human consciousness. We can enliven the part of our field wherein we remember who we are and why we came.
There are various ways of doing this - find someone in your area who facilitates this kind of work. I do - and it can be done remotely over the phone. And if you're in the Los Angeles area, come to my monthly Women's Circle where we regularly dive deep into our darkest natures as well as amplify our brightest selves.
As the world spins faster and crazier, it is imperative that we become the calm at the eye of the storm. We must have the wherewithal to hold a high frequency within our fields, no matter what. We can never fix or heal others; we heal ourselves and our wholeness becomes a lighthouse for others to find theirs, so that we all can live from our highest selves. Doesn't that sound like heaven?
(If you would like more information or a referral to a facilitator, I can be reached at jaclyng@gelbgroup.com)
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