TSUNAMIS OF HEALING

And here we are again, bobbing in rough surf, at least here in Southern California. So much has transpired since Venus went Retrograde on October 5th - I don't even know where to begin. I recently had an astrologer friend reach out because she had a look at my chart and saw some major intensity around Neptune transiting my natal Chiron (the wounded healer) among various other aspects. She sent me a Google search detailing what that might mean in my experience and its surgical precision took my breath away. It was EXACT to my experience, a simple, clinical description of outrageous internal upheaval and healing that's been the overarching theme of my life lately. My friend also suggested I google Pluto transiting the 12th House in Capricorn, because that's also happening for me. We are all experiencing Pluto transiting Capricorn - it began in 2008 and won't end until 2023. I found a great website called 'thoughtco.com' which describes a Pluto transit like this:

"Pluto has a fearsome reputation because the changes it brings are so deep and total. Pluto transits strip us to the core, where we rebuild on a foundation of something that feels real. The ultimate end game of Pluto is to dig out inner treasures and purge what's inauthentic, sometimes through a psychic death and rebirth. It the inside-out change from facing core fears and transforming wounds into greatest strengths."

In Capricorn, Pluto will change everything about our systems of power and control, how we do things, what life looks like. It will destroy and rebirth the very structure of our reality. Each of us will be experiencing this through the lens of a different 'House', which is determined by your natal (birth) chart. I'm experiencing this transit in my 12th house, which thoughtco.com describes this way:

"(In the 12th house) Pluto takes its light into the vast zones of the psyche usually veiled -- sometimes even to ourselves. Revelations become the norm, as what's been unconscious becomes conscious. A startling and miraculous time for wrapping up all the soul's loose ends, before Pluto begins another cycle. The past asks for forgiveness and understanding, altering the present. Emotional memories locked in the body are released, for tsunamis of healing."

STARTLING AND MIRACULOUS...TSUNAMIS OF HEALING.

Yep, I'll say. By way of tsunamis of pain and grief. And you know what? I'm kind of rocking it, for real. I keep waiting for an errant nervous breakdown to reveal itself and...it's all kind of....ok. And just to illustrate how Life will organize itself for your highest good when you allow it to, my sisters and I decided in May to do our annual Sister Healing Weekend in October in Sedona. So our meetup took place during Venus's Retrograde which for me was all about healing the very deepest layers of my childhood, the core wounding received by my very young self. As my sisters and I stepped into the vortex of Sedona to lay ourselves bare in order to be healed, the planets were holding exactly this for us. We allowed the land - and each another - to support, excavate and cleanse us. At one point we were meditating on huge rocks in a dry, vertical creek bed, where seasonal monsoon rivers wash down from the Red Rocks. We could feel the big water all around us, cleansing and purifying, stripping us of the stories of 'damage' and 'abuse', allowing us to feel the purity of our elemental selves. (You know how to do this, yes? Sit in a dry creek bed and tap in to the water? Sit in a burned-out field and tap into the fire? This reality we find ourselves in is spherical, and everything is happening right now. Our perception of linear time is simply a construct which we can supersede at will. So we can tap into that water because there is an angle of reality wherein it is right here, right now. We can tap in and allow that water to wash us clean. We can tap into that fire and allow ourselves to burn.) 

Throughout the trip, so much was falling away, I felt like I was in a sort of trance, like a self-induced coma that allows the body to heal without the mind's input. When we went for massages, something told me to choose 'lymph drainage' even though I wasn't entirely sure what that was. And in walked the loveliest young man, who held and touched me so gently it broke my heart open. So much pain around rough handling at the hands of the masculine came forward to be healed, for myself and for the collective. It was incredible work. And then, on the way back to the airport, we stopped to see our parents in Phoenix. By parents I mean our dad and step-mother, who raised us. I don't see them often. My dad and I have never had an easy relationship and I've made peace with that. But this time was different. I kept my heart open despite it's knee-jerk reaction to close, and I saw my dad with new eyes, as if seeing him for the first time. I saw why he relates to me the way he does, how it somehow protects his heart, and why that's necessary for him. I saw how my contract with him is complete despite his life, his path, his karma - we are complete. No words to describe how good that feels, just a gut-deep sense of satisfaction at the end of an especially long and (ruthlessly) painful cycle. And of course Love is here too, born of pure Compassion.

During our visit my mom gave me a small plastic bag of drawings and cards that I had made for her and my dad from 1968-1974. My sisters and I went to live with them in '68, when I was five. It was the most unimaginable gift - first though pain and grief (what else?) as I could see my Little Jaclyn trying to somehow create a world that felt safe and connected. And then I was able to tap into my Little Me's innocence, something I have been trying to feel for years. And I finally broke through. I can feel her. (This is everything).

And then. Twelve people were killed in a shooting 5 miles from my house and fifteen hours later the Woolsey Fire started, which ultimately chased us from both houses over the course of twelve hours. I had a long stretch at the pyramid house, watching the fire burn along the western ridge of Malibu Canyon, marveling at it's awesome power and yes, beauty. I had a surreal moment of actually feeling the element of fire in all it's neutrality, its lack of intent, simply fire expressing itself in a very big way. It brought me to my knees in surrender to any and all outcomes. Something profound shifted inside me then, and I haven't fully unpacked it. Something about interacting with the elemental self as the earth, in Oneness, in balance and harmony regardless of appearance. After the fire I could feel the land in my body, and I felt burned too, laid bare, shorn of what was there before. 

Through it all remains the through-line of my practice - yoga, mantra, meditation. Self-care. Bowing again and again to what is so. Keeping my heart open in every moment, bowing and opening. Saying Yes. Showing up. This life, no matter how fierce, is for us. If we allow it, we become Masters.

S E R I O U S L Y

And I'm back! I wasn't even entirely clear that I was gone, except when I did try to log-in to Blogger several times over the past months to post, it didn't work and I lacked sufficient motivation to follow through. There was simply too much vying for my attention and I was using the whole of my energy to surf the gigantically potent cosmic portals, the slipping time streams, dimensional overlaps and stuff like that. Gratitude and blessings to all those that kept up their practices of informing us of the cosmic weather - it was a long, seemingly never-ending report of trauma, upheaval and transformation. I repeatedly had the urge to post: "Grab a life preserver, keep breathing and let's check back in come late December." Because seriously.

S E R I O U S L Y.

Spring 2018 feels about three lifetimes ago and the galactic transformational shifts continue. Among multiple potent geometries, we're in Venus Retrograde until November 16. Venus began covering her shadow territory (this is like her first pass over what she will be 'contemplating' during her turn inward) in Scorpio with a powerful influence of Mars (our body/life) in Aquarius (the new way) and Uranus (change at any cost) in Taurus (persistent, plodding change), all in a Square formation, which creates oppositional forces that move us out of complacency and into action. On one side of the square, we had the Divine Masculine going about its business figuring out a new definition of what it means to be a man/masculine in this emerging paradigm - and how to incorporate consciousness and compassion into the way forward. On the other side of the square was Venus in Scoprio, digging into the Underworld, the Shadow, revealing more hidden aspects of power, sexuality and the desires of the Feminine, and how those desires have been repressed and stomped on for countless generations. The shiz, it is rising up out of the basement again. And so Venus - with Uranus staring her down - says 'Not so fast Divine Masculine. You can't move forward until this shiz is dealt with."

Hmmmm. Sound familiar with regards to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavaunaugh?  When Dr. Ford kicked open the basement door, a new, subtler level of the collective feminine trauma was exposed and we were reminded, 'Oh right, just because I wasn't technically raped doesn't mean I wasn't traumatized.' And the Masculine had to face yet another unsavory depth of truth around it's entrenched blind eye and inherent rape-y culture. And maybe just possibly, an imperative to stop hiding behind the smoke screen of "I did not have sex with that woman." Cosmically, we are all being held responsible for our actions, regardless of what side of Right Relationship they fall under. If we have perpetrated wrong action, we are called to make amends - if we do, we have the opportunity to liberate ourselves into an entirely new level of authenticity, wherein we live with a broader truth of what we are, warts, wings and all. We get to move forward with this expanded consciousness, creating who we are with each breath, choice and action. And through this portal we ultimately find our way back into Self-Love, which allows us to truly love one another. Both the Feminine and Masculine need deep, authentic love in order to move forward collectively healed. 

If we fail this particular Earth School test, and don't take responsibility for our mistakes of the past, we fall further into constriction, into dis-ease, into a paradigm of density and falsity, because we literally can't see ourselves and how our actions hurt others. Seen any paradigms of density and falsity lately? I would say our national political system has moved from falsity to farce and we all play along as if it's somehow real.

Dr. Ford took responsibility for her experience when she came forward and spoke up. In the days following, thousands of people began telling their long-held stories of abuse and trauma. This is what it is was for; it was never about whether Brett Kavanaugh would be confirmed as a life-long justice of the highest court in the land. We all know that game (and whole system) is rigged. It was about the act of speaking up, opening the basement door and telling our hard truths; the ones that are so dark we can barely look or stomach them. Collectively we are growing subtler and stronger - we're waking the f up and we're TALKING ABOUT IT. 

This is the most excellent way to move through this Venus Retrograde; allowing ourselves to embody those deep Scorpion depths and then express what we see and feel. It's important to support ourselves entirely throughout, with meditation, baths, yoga, inquiry/journaling, communing with soul family, deep committed self-care. So much can and will be revealed if we commit to the process. For me personally, much is being revealed in the dreamtime in the form of lucid dreams that feel like repressed memories. I can tell immediately they're important by their feel and how I awake fully engaged with the emotion and energetic. I'm remembering (hopefully, fingers crossed) the deepest depths of my three and five year old self, losing first my grandmother and then my mother. I wake up right in the loss and it's astoundingly beautiful to allow myself to feel that little one's ocean of grief.

As I write this I'm in Sedona with my two older sisters on our annual Sister Bonding Weekend. We live in three different states and we come together once a year to commune. Our time is always rife with laughter and tears; this year the laughter is reaching entirely new depths and the medicine in that is profound. It's allowing us to cycle through the layered, crackling energetic of our collective field and lineage and release it. The land here is so welcoming, I feel it receive this energy with deep gratitude for our work. And of course we are entirely supported by our ancestors - their presence is so strong I am near constantly integrating the shifts. 


So it's a beautiful time to be woke on Earth. We all agreed to be here because we are. When we bend our will toward surrender to our highest path, we are bourn on the wings of angels.  

AMPLIFIED AND EVEN EXALTED

Greetings Beautiful Ones! We've got a lot of astrological weather happening so let's jump right in. First I want to say that Astrology is simply a wheel (within a wheel within a wheel within a wheel...) of cycles that we can use to map our lives, short term and long term. We can also look to these constantly-generating patterns for clues about the human evolutionary journey both in this lifetime and across many generations and millennia. Time was when we lived by cycles for our very existence, but in the span of a few hundred years, we've largely removed ourselves from this knowledge. Cycles are like roadmaps - they let us know where we've been, where we are, where we're going and which roads are best to deliver us to our intended destination. Cycles provide the framework (and mirror) for how this Reality plays itself out; if we pay attention and use this information to our advantage, our work is amplified and even exalted. Every year around my birthday I get a 'Solar Return' reading with my favorite astrologer, which helps me to know what the major themes of the coming year are for me, what to expect, how to best work with the energies. It also helps me understand how current cycles feed future ones, so that I can prepare for the long-term themes my life will be presenting me.

A major astrological marker for the collective appeared last week, when Uranus moved from Aries into Taurus, beginning a seven-year cycle that suggests a period of upheaval, turmoil and sudden shifts - mainly in the areas of technology, finance and the Earth itself. We're already seeing this play out in an obvious way with the Kilauea eruption in Hawaii. Uranus changes signs every seven years and in Aries, it was all youthful enthusiasm, sprinting towards change at any cost, burning down one house before building another. In Taurus, it's more grounded and plodding (think lava flow) but rest assured, change will happen - initiating in bursts that are sudden and shocking, in ways that shift the very landscape of everything. Uranus loves change, loves the lightning flash of awakening while Taurus hates it, preferring everything to remain static. Taurus is also very capable and a legendary problem solver, so at least the craziness ahead will be ultimately well-managed and grounded. And it's likely not going to feel great. To give you a sense of scale, the last time Uranus transited Taurus, the Stock market crashed, ushering in the Great Depression. And World War II happened. Now that doesn't mean the same will happen again; today's world is vastly different than it was eighty-some years ago so the energy will likely play itself out in different ways. It will be big though, and world changing. 

What to do with this? I'm not even going to answer that question because I've answered it ad nauseam. Ok, I'll answer it again. CREATE A DAILY PRATICE THAT ACTIVATES AND SERVES YOUR HIGHEST SELF AND DO THE PRACTICE. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. This will allow you to be operating at your highest frequency, so that when the shit gets all around wonky, you will have the wherewithal to stand in the face of the change, fear, discomfort, pain or _________ and simply be with it without crumbling. Or, if a response is required, you will clearly see what Right Action is in that moment (your absolute best response) and have the grit to DO IT. When you function regularly from this place, you're telling the Universe, "Um, I'm an effing Master" and the Universe is all "Right, got it, let me usher you along the Master's path." And I'm not saying that life will become all sweetness and roses because that's not realistic, however life will feel good. Even when it doesn't. 

Another potent astrological event occurred last month when Chiron - the wounded healer - moved from Pisces into Aries, where it will largely remain until 2026. The wounded healer refers to someone like me, who in my endless quest to heal my own wounds, realized I now have the capacity to usher others along the road towards their own healing. Chiron heals itself; now that it's left the watery, foggy, dreamy lands of Pisces, the fire and light of Aries will allow our wounded places to become very clear to us, as will our ability and responsibility to heal ourselves. While we can look to others for markers along the path, our true healing can only come from within. Healing, like Happiness, is an inside job.

I'm personally already experiencing the lightning bolts of self-healing. A few days ago I saw in an instant the truth of a friendship I've had for years wherein I gave my power away to this friend within moments of meeting her. My very first thought was that her consciousness was amazing, so much bigger than mine so from that moment, I took everything she said as true, even when it didn't jive with my own inner knowing. Through the years when she would tell me things about me, I would believe it without question, thinking "I must not be subtle enough to feel what she feels", or "I must be blind so I can't see what she sees." And then, in a lightning flash of insight, I had a full body experience of "FUCK NO SHE IS NOT RIGHT ABOUT ME." When I allowed that thought to settle, I saw how I have been using her to sabotage myself for years, based on a dynamic I set up in the first five minutes of knowing her. WOW!! And when I reclaimed myself from that relationship, my energetic field grew noticeably bigger. I had two consecutive nights of incredible dream-time, where I was taught more about the nature of Energy, how it flows, how to wield it and how to share these teachings with the world. WOW again.

So my friends, do your practices, do your work. Examine your relationships. Are they based on mutual respect and equal footing or have you given yourself away? Has someone given their power to you and do you unconsciously take advantage of that? Remember when you do this work it's never about the other person - your work is to examine your part in it. Their part is their business. Your work is YOU. Go through all your close relationships with family, friends, bosses, work-mates, mentors, etc. Where you've given yourself away, take yourself back. Forgive yourself and others and gently release that agreement. Create in its place a dynamic of understanding that we are all infinitely valuable, bringing our different gifts to the Whole. Each gift is precious and cannot be compared to another. 

You are precious - to me, to the world, to Life itself.

PEACE IN THE SPACE BETWEEN BULLETS

Greetings my Beloveds. It's been a while. As I logged in to write this, I realized I've started two blog posts that I didn't finish - something I never do - probably because I've been bogged down with recurrent sinus infections that are really dulling my vibe, mainly due to the (over-the-counter) pharmaceuticals I've been taking in order to function. These put me so far under water, I cannot think straight or clearly. And it's been months of this! I have so much compassion for people who have live on allergy meds!! I am in the process of investigating the physical source of the allergies/infections so that I can clear this shit up and out.

So! 2018 continues to be a great opportunity to overcome challenges, yes? Delays, set-backs, fuck-ups, confusion, fear, what have I missed? Oh right, Joy in the face of sadness, Peace in the space between bullets, Hope in the face of despair. Knowing All Is Well even when it looks like hell. I've been in a curious place of shifting my daily practice to accommodate my physical limitations, which means it's essentially just chanting and meditation and it's been wonderful proving to myself that any effort is fruitful; as long as I touch in with the Divine, regardless of how that looks, I can maintain a through-line of Joy. Sometimes I get caught up in the thought form that it has to look a certain way in order to 'work' - hmmmm. Maybe I've stumbled on the purpose of the sinus infections - or at least one of the gifts of this suffering! Actually I'm pretty sure the sinus stuff is repressed anger, so it's back to the 'basement' of my sub/non-conscious for investigation. Sometimes it feels like I live in the friggin basement, know what I'm saying?

So what's the anger about? The largest part is the apoplectic rage of the Collective Feminine from countless generations of mistreatment, abuse, subjugation, suppression, etc. We've finally allowed ourselves to open the door to that deep dark basement and dang but it's stinky down there. Putrid. Not easy to be with. Once we acclimate to the rage, we may also find profound mistrust of the Masculine. And so I start at the beginning, with the Masculine in my family - father, husband. 

Game on.

How to do this work? I work best in the Unseen, meaning I put myself in a deep meditative state and then call in the soul of the one I wish to work with. This is highly effective because trust me, if I called up my dad and said, "Can we please work through the seething anger that I secretly harbor toward you?", I have a sense it wouldn't go well. So I work with my dad's soul, that part of him that knows and can hold the truth of our relationship, that can see and hold my anger. And we converse. I can come to this conversation as any age, any part of me - the infant Jaclyn, the little girl, the teenager, the young adult and the grown me. All have a part in this story however it's good to start at the place that has the biggest charge; if your parents got divorced when you were 13 and you blame your dad, maybe start there by bringing your 13-year-old self in to see what she has to say. Mine began in utero (my dad divorced my mom when she was pregnant with me) so my starting point is crystal clear. It's important when you're doing this work that you work through each step slowly and clearly. First touch in with your own soul however you do that (meditation is great for this) and then call in the soul you wish to work with. Wait for them to arrive, attuning your sensitivity so that you can actually feel that happen. Once you feel them present, ask if they are willing to have a conversation with you and wait for their agreement. (If they say 'No', ask if there is another time they would be willing to converse.) And then begin. Speak your heart. Say exactly what your infant/little girl/teenager/adult needs to say, no filters, no judgements. Allow room for them to receive and respond. Ask questions. Work your stuff out. And then end with love and gratitude and perhaps an agreement to work again in the future. And, more good news, this works even if the one you wish to converse with has passed on. Their soul still exists, will always exist - and in some ways it's easier than working with a soul that's still embodied. 

Working in the Unseen is so powerful because everything happens there first. We create energetically and then it eventually condenses down into the physical experience. When we work in the Unseen, it ripples out from the collective fields of the involved souls, through the field of the Void/All Possibility and into every aspect of our being. It heals the energetic body and can shift absolutely everything. I can shift the field of relationship with my dad by allowing those injured parts of me to speak/emote/release the pain of _________, and by doing so, shift and/or heal my relationship with my husband because I will no longer be bringing that unexpressed pain and anger into our every interaction. See how that works?

This type of work is not 'exotic' or 'strange'; it's part of our natural human functionality of interacting with one another on multiple levels, across countless dimensions, soul to soul. What's strange is that we are cut off from these proclivities because of our belief systems, thinking we are only the mind and body. We have experienced so many lifetimes in the density of these bodies that we have forgotten the gifts and super-powers of our soul. Reclaim them my people! It's not something new you have to learn. You already know how to do it because it's literally what you are.

Lastly, thank you for doing this work; by healing yourself, you heal the world. And finally, please remember how loved you are, how seen, known, wanted and celebrated. Know it to your bones and live from that place. 

CREATING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT

Greetings my Beloveds. Wheweee!! The going is rough as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Eleven days ago we had a partial solar eclipse at the New Moon in Aquarius, a reboot of our consciousness around our collective humanity and close relationships. Those areas of our un-consciousness that we have been doing a bang-up job of ignoring are totally out in the open, up for review. Now is a time to see what does not work, like AT ALL ANYMORE, and leave it behind. It’s not surprising that the most recent school shooting happened within this portal; in the past we’ve witnessed these events, been heart-broken and horrified and angry and then we just sort of all ‘forget’ and move on until the next one happens. This time feels different though, doesn’t it? And it’s not the older ‘wiser’ generation who is demanding change; it’s our youth, literally standing up and saying NO. NO MORE. NOT EVER AGAIN. These ones have been activated upon a path of taking responsibility for their world and I can feel the power and force of the slip-stream of consciousness they have said Yes to and it’s HUGE. I’m excited to see how it’s going to roll out.

We too must catch this stream of energy and do our work. Time to get REALLY REALLY clear on what it is we are doing here – what did we incarnate on Earth to do? To be? What is the gift we are bringing to Humanity? It’s time to leave behind ANYTHING that doesn’t serve that mission, be it a thought form (I can’t do it, I’m not smart enough, rich enough, worthy enough, etc.), a behavioral pattern (I hate my job so I need to drink/smoke/numb out at night to feel ok) or a belief system (I’m a piece of shit, born with sin, and I need to pay a man to make me right with God.) All of these are Systems of Illusion that keep us trapped in vicious cycles, that keep us from delivering our dharma, which is the thing we came here to do and be. Ever see a fruit tree that never gets cleared of its fruit? The fruit is the tree’s gift to the world; when it rots on the branches and ground, the stagnant energy eventually makes the tree sick. We are the same – if we are not delivering our dharma, it will ultimately make us sick, either emotionally, physically or spiritually. Know any sick people? I do. If we are not creating something good every day (we are born creators) we will create drama. Know anyone who does that, creates drama for no reason? I do. It is time (well past time, actually) for us to quit this nonsense and tap back into the reason we are here. Our souls know it – it’s written into the blueprint of our DNA. The only thing keeping our consciousness from knowing it are these silly illusions we hold so dear. Time’s up on our f’in illusions, individual and collective. Time to set them down FOREVER.

How do we set them down? Well, I’ve been talking about this for years because this is exactly the work I’ve been doing for years. Go back and read the archives - there’s lots on this subject there, lots of tools and practices to help you begin this important work. In short, we must examine everything we believe about ourselves and the world and see if it’s actually true for us. Examine your habits and patterns; where did they come from? Do they reflect who you are or did you inherit/adopt them from someone else? Examine your belief systems. Where did they come from? Are they actually true for you? Examine your childhood. What did your parents actually think of you? What ideas about yourself did you inherit from them? Are they true? Are you that? If so, do you want to keep being that or would you like to change?

Here’s an example of this kind of inquiry from my own life, around coffee. (I know, totally mundane, but watch where it goes). Coffee ‘told’ me every single morning that I needed it to function, and I believed it for MANY MANY years. It literally was my first thought upon waking – where is my coffee and how do I get it? Then my body started telling me that coffee wasn’t my friend and I was like ‘that can’t be right because I need it every single day to function.’ I ignored my body for a long time because what it was telling me didn’t jive with my very engrained thought form. When I finally grew weary of the struggle between my body and the thought form, I took a hard look at it - where did I get the idea that I needed coffee first thing every day? In college, when I worked two jobs, I didn’t get much sleep. There were nights that I worked until 11pm and then went  home to write a paper, due the next day. Coffee kept me up to get my work done and coffee got me up and to class the next morning so I adopted the thought form that I needed coffee to function. And when I dug deeper, I discovered another thought form I’d carried since childhood that said I was lazy, had low energy and was unmotivated. Coffee was the antidote. So I asked myself, ‘Am I lazy?’ Nope, never been lazy. Ok, easy to release that one. Do I have low energy? Yes, I’ve had low blood pressure my whole life, which I counteract with exercise. Do I need coffee for that? Nope, exercise does the trick and as I’ve aged, my blood pressure has risen into normal range, so I’m all good. Am I unmotivated? Yep, around doing things I hate like paperwork, filing and mundane tasks. I’ve been working with Saturn (the Cosmic Taskmaster) on that, and I’ve actually started to enjoy ticking those things off my ToDo list. Examining these thought forms allowed me to see that they were never or no longer true so I could easily release them. Then I turned back to coffee, my long-time love. What was true about coffee? Well, it’s delicious, yes. SO SO delicious. Also it makes my whole system acidic and it fuels my monkey mind so that my thoughts race. So here I am, dedicated to a quiet, meditative mind, so much so that my entire life is structured around practices to achieve this and the first thing I do every single morning works against that? Isn’t that interesting?? This opened up a whole new area of inquiry that led to a whole new set of false beliefs to release. And I easily quit drinking coffee every day.

Once you get good at knowing what you are not, you can begin deciding what you are. Only you get to decide this as you are solely responsible for you. You alone get to create your self-concept. You get to decide who you are right now, who you will be tomorrow and who you will be next week. In this eclipse portal (which runs through July) you have a giant push of cosmic energy to help with this process. Self-Concept is literally your declaration of who you are. As I was holding the self-concept of “I am a person who needs to have coffee every day in order to function”, my life organized around that concept and let me tell you, I was very successful in procuring coffee every morning. Everyone around me and the Universe itself conspired to make that happen. Now I hold a self-concept of “I wake energized and charged for whatever the day asks of me” and that's simply what's true now. I can put whatever I like into my self-concept (although things like “I am a tall person” or “I am a prima ballerina” might be a waste of my energy) and as long as I hold fast to it – like a dog with a bone – my system will organize itself around that concept. I will choose those actions and thoughts that serve it, and the world will mirror it back to me. It’s important to think BIG with your self-concept, as in “I am a boundless creator god, fully tapped into the creative impulse, delivering my dharma with exuberance, grace and love, realizing my dreams, living as a beneficial presence to humanity and to consciousness itself.” Get the picture?  

Your self-concept will evolve over time as you become the thing you declare yourself to be, so you can move onto other self-concepts. What have you always dreamed of being? You can’t get it wrong so be creative, have fun. Keep it open-ended; the Universe has a bigger imagination than you – let it fill in the blanks. Write it down, tape it to your mirror so you can see it when you’re brushing your teeth, put it on your steering wheel, make it the wallpaper of your phone, tape it to your refrigerator. Write it out every single day on a little piece of paper and put it in your pocket. Refuse any thought that contradicts it. Hold steady and fast to it, even when the phenomenal world appears otherwise. Just simply KNOW that it is your birthright to be who you say you are. When you are steadfast in your knowing, the Creative Principle will know it with you and the Cosmos itself will shift to accommodate and support it. And that’s when the magic really begins…

ON BENDED KNEES

Saturn's Rings as seen from Cassini

New Year’s Greeting Beloveds! I hope this finds you catching the slip stream of new beginnings as the Julian calendar tips into 2018. Astrologically and seasonally, there is nothing significant about December 31^st at 11:59:59PM, however humans have been celebrating it for several millennia as a turning towards the New, so we tap into that energetically for ourselves. January becomes a time to renew our homes, health, schedules/routines and the like, as well as revisiting and reviewing our life purpose. 

To prepare myself for this new year, I listened to Dr. Michael Lennox’s Astro Overview for 2018 and it was  L O N G  as in there is a lot going on. I am going to condense it here as best I can. Realize that when any astrologer looks at an entire year taken within the context of wheels within wheels, cycles within cycles, he/she could throw a rock in any direction and hit a major vein of energy on which to focus. It takes an experienced, intuitive astrologer to catch the biggest story and for me, that is Dr. Lennox. Where he chooses to place his attention most often matches my own choices. If you follow an astrologer (AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO) (BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON), find one that matches you energetically so that you can receive intuitively. 

There are two big stories for 2018 and they are 1) Awakening in the World of Form (3D) courtesy of Uranus moving into Taurus and 2) Saturn (yes Saturn is going to be on your last nerve until you shed the body) (wish I was kidding) DEMANDING that you build the forms and structures that support you achieving and maintaining the highest possible vantage point available to you. Let’s break that down.

Uranus is the Great Awakener, and uses any means possible to bring that awakening; your house burns down or you win the lottery - both will equally transform your relationship to the material world. Uranus moves slowly – it’s been in Aries for the past 10 years. Aries is all youthful fire, leap first/question later, “Let’s burn everything down RIGHT NOW OK??!!” Think businesses failing, marriages failing, governments crumbling, social structures disintegrating. Change and transformation all over the place. In May Uranus enters Taurus which is grounded Earth energy that takes all that Aries exuberance and says “Ok, we’re here, shit’s all burned down, now what? How do we integrate these transformations into our physical world? How do we contain and hold what’s emerging now?” We take the concept of Awakening out of the fiery, almost-out-of-control, action orientation into the slow, steady, grounded pause, into inquiry and finding the best way to proceed. And the best way to proceed is best seen from the highest+widest vantage point available, which brings us to #2. 

Saturn.

Saturn is our Great Teacher, the bringer of lessons which leads us to fulfill our karma (righting+releasing past actions) into our Dharma, the energy we incarnated to bring onto the planet, the one we embody when we are fully realized. Saturn has been in Sagittarius - all fiery transparency and authenticity, allowing for no wiggle room. No more faking it or phoning it in. We must be who we say we are or we’re going to get nailed. (See how this worked so beautifully with what Uranus was up to in Aries? It’s all one great big system with incomprehensible genius and precision.) Saturn moved into Capricorn in December and will be there until 2020. Capricorn is an Earth sign that teaches us how to achieve our goals, how to create and maintain the structures that will get us up that mountain in a grounded, real way. No woo woo here. Capricorn puts it head down and does its work no matter what. We’re going to need those Capricorn blinders because the world is going increasingly mad. The ‘crazy’ we’re with now is going to ratchet up steadily, hitting one peak in January 2020, when shit really erupts. This year and next are all about preparing ourselves for the world of 2020. We are going to need to be at the top of the mountain, our highest+best vantage point so that we have some distance off the crazy, so that we can hold the line for what is good, for what works, for how love acts and shows up. In this way we will be part of the solution rather than contributing to the crazy. 

And how do we get up that mountain? Cue the broken record.
BY HAVING A DAILY SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. At this point in the human evolutionary journey, we simply cannot grow into our highest and best potential without one. It does not have to be long or complicated. It just has to be a daily touch-in with your own eternal nature. Decide what it is for you and do it - even for five minutes if that’s all you can manage. JUST DO IT. EVERY GOSH DARNED DAY. Meditate, do the kundalini practice I sent last month, chant, do pranayama exercises, whatever, JUST DO. No more wiggle room, no more excuses. The energy is going to get more and more divided in the 3D, which means the heavy pull of gravity at the negative end of the spectrum of experience will become even heavier. You must have a practice wherein you experience the light, neutrality and wholeness at the positive end of the spectrum of experience. When you are hanging out there, life is your school and rather than freaking out when the shit hits the fan, you have the wherewithal to pause and wonder “Why is this in my movie?” You are the writer/director/producer of your movie, and I guarantee you put that shitty thing in there for a reason, so find it. Find and receive the gift – and thereby fulfill your karma, stop the f’in cycle of suffering and start delivering on your Dharma. The world is begging you, on bended knees, forehead to the ground, to deliver your best. 

Here are very brief overviews of how each sign will interact with the two big stories I’ve outlined above. Read for your Sun, Moon and Rising signs.

Aries: Will not be challenged by the Uranus changes – you thrive on the new. You will however be leveled by the demand to be responsible to goals (square to Saturn). Saturn will be all over your shit around being grounded, responsible and deliberate in your actions, particularly around a spiritual practice.

Taurus: Brand new, lightening strike of awakening, YAAY YOU!! You will also have a harmonious experience around the demand for responsibility as you are in a good relationship with the Great Teacher.

Gemini: You will be forced to act upon the coming changes in a pointed way; you must follow the fork in the road, taking a NEW PATH, making a NEW CHOICE. Pass this test – it’s vital.

Cancer: Changes are ones you can work with, you’ve got the info and wherewithal. The Saturn in Capricorn angle is confrontational for you – do your best to overcome being overly emotional, which clouds the field. Find neutrality.

Leo: Will face a similar energy to Gemini although softer; you’ve already made most of the changes and the fork in the road is a gentle course correct.

Virgo: Will receive the greatest benefit. Incorporating changes and responsibility will be easy and in your highest good.

Libra: You will also have a fork in the road – TAKE IT! You will explode into a new consciousness on this new road. Your journey will be uncomfortable but clear.

Scorpio: Your experience will be explosive, confronting. Imperative to become responsible to a daily practice – the energies ensure it will be very effective and offer great long-term outcomes.

Sagittarius: Similar to Scorpio, especially with regards to responsibility around practice.

Capricorn: Mighty responsibility however you’ll receive energy and changes harmoniously.

Aquarius: Very disruptive energy – square with Uranus brings instability but also fun and excitement. Ground, ground, ground. 

Pisces: You will receive the energies of shake-up/changes and responsibility in a very productive way.

Hope this helps. Buckle down, get your shit lined up, it’s time to work.