ROAR UP IN HERE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

Well, here we are; November has been a bugger. The unthinkable is now the Reality. On election night, once the outcome was assured, I went to bed to mourn the lost possibility of a female president in 2016. I worked deeply in the dream time and awoke ready to face what I already knew. All signs pointed to Trump's victory despite my adamant refusal to see them. All planetary energies surrounding November 8th pointed toward surprises, the unexpected, chaos, eruptive violence. And so I moved myself into acceptance of what is. No us against them. No blame or shame; just a very weary "Ok, we did this. We elected this man. Why? And what now?" And then I took it into the personal - why do I find him so abhorrent? What about his words and actions trigger me? Why can't I hold his misogyny, racism, elitism, sexism, (ad nauseam isms)? First because I can't hold these things in myself  (yes, we all carry these energies) or in my loved ones and community around me. Second, and perhaps more importantly, because I wanted the easy way. I wanted the Age of Aquarius to roar up in here like a motherfucker, and just clear all that shit out of the way, so we can get on with the business of Love and Unity and Joy. And it doesn't work like that. Revolution and change are messy, bloody, hard. SLOW.

So the 3D world is the 'final frontier' for energy; by the time something rolls out in this dense reality, the energy has been in place for a while, creating in the unseen for who knows how long until it bursts into form. We have collectively been creating President Donald Trump for some time now. And we create on purpose, always. So why the Donald? These are questions each and everyone of us can take into our personal inquiry - we each have a very intimate relationship with the answers. One thought is that the collective has been calling for change in the way our government functions and Donald represents change FOR REAL. Hillary doesn't; despite her gender and election packaging, her energy is very much the status quo. And maybe any change is good, maybe Donald will get the energy moving (I fear in the opposite direction of Love) however it will at least be moving and movable. We can weave Love in ourselves. Another thought is that our leadership needs to get as obscene as possible so that we can be snapped out of complacency. An image arose from Sophia Coppola's "Marie Antoinette", wherein a young Marie, having recently been brought to France to marry the juvenile king, is awoken, dressed in outrageously rich garments and led to a vast hall featuring a twenty foot table laden with decadent foods of every sort - her and her husband's breakfast. The French people had been starving for nearly a generation; it took obscene decadence on the part of their leaders for them to finally stand up and say NO. And when they did, they were victorious; it was the end of the French monarchy. Perhaps Donald Trump is our Marie and maybe we need him so that we can be activated upon our path of evolution. The world needs us to be proactive in creating our collective future, for its very survival. So if you have been resting in the thought form that the government has it handled, how you feeling now? Still feel confident? Didn't think so. So now who needs to handle it? Hint: Us, every last one of us. (And I'm really hoping we've reached the pinnacle of obscene.)

So now what? The planetary energies for the remainder of the year are about dissolving dense thought forms like victimhood, confusion, fear, feelings of doubt and inadequacy and the urge to stick our heads even deeper in the sand. Thank God. We can't afford to do that another second. Another planetary theme is FREEDOM, for 'standing up with fire'. We're already seeing that happening all over this country, most notably at Standing Rock. Remember we are never fighting for our freedom; we already are free, it's our birthright. Our work is to recognize and release all illusions of bondage so that we can live in the truth of our freedom. The truth is POWERFUL and intelligent and will reveal the way toward Right Relationship with all, including ourselves and the planet. So now each and every one of us is invited to stand up. How do we do that? We do it in large and small ways. We do it by actively creating something different. We do it every single day by standing up for what's right. No more looking away. If you see injustice, call it out. If you see someone's rights being trampled, stand up for them. Stand up for yourself. Banish all the isms from your own hearts and thought patterns and hold others accountable for theirs. Accept only Unity, Community, Love, Respect, Tolerance, Responsibility, Sharing, One For All and All For One. Will yourself to see the wider Truth of this world. Those folks across the aisle who you call your enemies ARE YOU. When you make peace within yourself with what you hate about them, you will begin to be able to feel them. And when you feel them, you can establish connection, communication, empathy. And then co-creation is possible, from what unites us. We must create our beautiful future together - there is no other way forward.

          

Girrrrl Power

Greetings My People.

Ok, there is SO MUCH happening right now I hardly know where to start. The energies are all over the place (and so is this newsletter).

As always, I begin with my own experience because that is where it's most real for me. The planetary energies continue to have an overarching theme of the hidden becoming known, largely in ourselves and in relationship with our closest beloveds. I will share that my daughter's one year and eight month relationship ended suddenly and it opened a Pandora's box of goodies. I mean, WOW. A brief note about her experience, she was devastated for about three days and then she picked herself up and largely moved on. When the sadness circles back around as it does when she sees him with his new girlfriend, she deals. And then she moves on again. I am agog at her emotional deftness (at 15).

And what it opened up for me is surprisingly wide. First, it gave me the experience of witnessing someone hurting my kid right in front of me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I remember when Nikki was about one, at a birthday party, sitting in a tiny sand box with a little boy. He grabbed a handful of sand and threw it straight in her face. She sputtered and gasped; sand was in her eyes, nose and mouth. I swooped her up and headed for the bathroom; I had to use all my strength to contain myself because what I really wanted to do was go pound that kid. I had to talk myself through what was an unbelievable amount of energy running through me. MAMA BEAR, straight up. (This was also the moment I realized that I could not protect my girl from the world because I was sitting right there and she still got hurt.)

And so this break-up thing happened and I got to be with my girl as she navigated flat-out grief. And nothing I could say or do could take it away. And as I struggled to be with the pain in her eyes and watch as circumstances amplified it again and again, I learned a lot about her and me. First, she's fierce as fuck. She has preternatural emotional intelligence, in the body of an almost sixteen year old girl who hasn't yet learned to control her impulses. It's eerie. Second, she's got herself handled. She can take care of herself. She doesn't need me or anyone to process or usher her through anything, heinous or otherwise. She's stronger than I am. And she knows how to make mistakes and recover from them. I get to sit back, handle my own shit, and simply watch, even when I know the choice she's making in that moment is not in her 'best' interest. (And let's not forget that 'worst' is sometimes 'best' in disguise.) Also, she got her driving permit about a week after the break-up and she's a crazy good driver. Apparently those years of living at the top of a mountain in Malibu, driving hours up and down that lunatic road every day seeped into her blood because she already knew how to drive. And driving has opened up a whole new level of maturity and responsibility in her and it's incredibly gratifying to witness. I can see the future her, the grown-up, and she's breath-taking.

As for me, so much. First, I still had some releasing to do around a similar break-up (out of the blue) I had right out of college. It knocked me on my ass (I was engaged to be married, newly in the Bay Area where I knew exactly one person, and he had just left me for another woman.) I've done a lot of work around that and yet here it was front and center, sitting right on my chest whenever I tried to sleep. Or breathe. I literally would wake in the night in physical pain, clutching my chest and would have to remind myself that my boyfriend did not just break up with me. It was intense and made more so by how surprising it was. So I did my work, cleared the next layer of grief around that break-up of thirty years ago so that I could be fully present to what was happening right here in 2016. (As an aside, in the cosmic knowing that time/space is an illusion and that everything is actually happening right now, it's not at all surprising that this energy was triggered. My body is however participating with the time/space thing so it was like WTF.) As I watched my girl navigate her experience, I noticed how often I wanted to step away from the pain of witnessing. And I didn't. I leaned in closer, stayed right with it, allowed it to be. And that shit was UNCOMFORTABLE. What I discovered in the discomfort was that I am kinda co-dependent with my girl, taking responsibility for her happiness; I was bummed that her boyfriend left her because for twenty months, he was responsible for her happiness - and now it was back on me. Except, oh right, SHE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OWN HAPPINESS. Got it. This was huge as it let me release her, for real. She is her own universe, fully functional (and killing it.) Her life is her own. She does not belong to me. I can trust her with her own life, she's safe.

Second, I discovered that apparently, "When She Starts Driving" was a hidden switch in me that meant "She's Growing Up and Leaving Me." (Notice the co-dependent dove-tail.) I went into a bit of a tail-spin of 'Oh fuck, she's leaving'. And who am I going to be then? Because for almost sixteen years, when asked what I do, the answer's been "I'm a stay-at-home mom". What happens after that?? I was in this energetic trench for more than a week, just kind of keeping my head above water and walking around with the mantra of "Oh Fuck." And I stayed present with it, leaned in as it got even more uncomfortable, until I finally remembered: there are about a bazillion things I want to do when she goes off to college. Two bazillion even. And when I started remembering my options and dreaming of others, the energy instantly receded. I'm going to be just fine when she goes. And so is she.

Unbelievable gifts from a teenage break-up, WHO KNEW?!

As for us collectively, we have begun a new cycle energetically, marked by the Fall Equinox and for me personally with the Jewish High Holy Days. Through the fall we 'harvest' the gifts of the year, separating the wheat/jewels from the chaff/what wants to be discarded. We take stock of the year from a place of magnanimous neutrality; we own our wins and losses, integrating and incorporating the lessons/uplevelings and releasing the detritus of the creation/destruction cycle. Most of us aren't very good at the releasing part and yet it is crucial if we are to create anew from a place of Clarity. The seasons assist us in the Creation Cycle: Winter is a time of turning deeply inward, where we dream of the coming year, where we plant the seeds of what we will create for our lives in the next turning of the wheel. We nourish those seeds throughout the winter, checking in with our dreams, refining them, energizing them as only we know how. And then Spring arrives and we begin the outward movement of fruition. We prepare the ground, we nourish the soil, we do the work in the 3D. We take the steps we planned out in Winter. And the first buds appear. We water them, we listen to the vision of our dreams and we follow it by doing whatever it asks of us. We weave it into every choice - does this action serve my vision for my life? Throughout Spring our dreams grow and grow; by Summer they are in full bloom. We celebrate and partake in the rich abundance of fruition. We amplify what worked. And in fall we begin the separating and gratitude cycle. (Although Gratitude is a program we can run all year, as it's like rocket fuel for our dreams.) We are meant to complete the cycle in the late fall by de-constructing it; we are meant to release the waste to make way for the new. When we do this consciously, we become very effective creators.

The planetary energies of this fall will assist us in the destruction and releasing process, particularly with the masculine/feminine relationships that structure our world. Through the rise of the 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' version of the Divine Feminine, we must first stand in the face of what the feminine experience has been for millennia. (We are being afforded this experience in a very visceral way with our current presidential election.) We have accepted it, suffered for it, looked away, subverted it, made it okay. No more. We can no longer look away. We must allow the discomfort to reveal the path forward. (And the good news is our girls are already on that path, so the future is already brighter.) We must make it right for ourselves. No more bowing to what is not respectable. We must usher the masculine into a balanced, right relationship with the feminine. We will not do this by crushing the masculine; we will do this by being the living example of honoring both for truly our deepest wholeness lies in that balance. We no longer need to 'become men' to lead; we can be the fullness of the (unimaginable) power of the feminine without diminishing the power of the masculine. And we must create new structures of relationship that embody this.

First though, we have a shit-ton of individual and collective anger to release, so let's get to that. One of the best ways I know to release anger is this three minute meditation: (unfortunately you have to cut and paste)

https://youtu.be/tR7-RE7DFQQ (this one has an extended explanation of the kriya)

or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXcdctEHdRA (this one gets to the point quite quickly).


This kriya flat out WORKS. I wish we taught it to kids in school.

So, release, release and release some more. Allow yourself to stand quietly in discomfort, lean in, listen. Discomfort has a lot to say if you allow it. Take a look at your relationship with yourself and your beloveds with regards to feminine/masculine. What does the Divine Feminine mean to you? Divine Masculine? Can you investigate and own the fullness of the feminine principle? Do you understand that the masculine has subverted the feminine for millennia because they are afraid of its outrageous power? Are you willing to discover and hold your own power - and wield it wisely?

As you embark on this path (and you must, life is demanding it) know that you are not alone. This is our collective path, all of humanity is responsible for our ascension to the next level of human possibility and interaction. We are the pilgrims and the pioneers, on the cusp of this very brand new age that is only now taking shape. We signed up for this, our souls are here on purpose for this specifically. Let's turn our attention away from the circus that is the dying patriarchal paradigm and concentrate on our unimaginably bright future...

You up for that?

The Good News Is...

Wow. So much is happening in the cosmic geometries, manifesting as life here in the 3D. Things have likely felt a bit nuts - for me personally I can testify that yes, A FULL BOWL OF NUTS. For many of us that has shown up as sudden break-ups of partnerships (romantic and otherwise) and an underlying sense of deep and somewhat terrifying energetics that are hard to put into words. It's simply an extra-crazy time here on planet Earth. The good news is we are offered a bit of relief, starting right now. Today is the New Moon in Libra (exact at 5:11pm PST), the so-called 'Black Moon' as it is the second New Moon in a calendar month. And today that feels exactly right, a Black Moon indeed. The upside is the New Moon always signals the end of one or more cycles and beginning of the new.

The cycle that has just ended is largely about completed soul contracts, which naturally lends itself to 'break-ups'. When we move through these experiences consciously, by allowing ourselves to fully feel the depth of emotions while honoring the value and purpose of the partnership, we can come out the other side 'clean' and increased by the engagement. Emotions in the 3D tend to get very sticky and they can literally gunk-up our emotional field; we know this is happening when we get stuck on a single thought form, when we just can't seem to let something go. We are creatures that are meant to flow, which means we are built to allow emotions to move through us, like water, to completely immerse us and then flow on by. When we allow this, we can receive the jewel of the experience (there is always a jewel) and not amplify or prolong our suffering. When we resist the pain by distracting ourselves, ignoring it, getting angry, trying to change outcomes, etc., we are simply prolonging the inevitable, or worse yet, we are burying it deep within us where it will fester and eventually make us sick.

Another way we create suffering is to make the break-up mean something about us, rather than just staying present to the emotions. There can be a lot of wisdom and information in our emotions. If our beloved or partner has left us because they felt 'smothered', we have the opportunity to look at that with an open mind and heart: What am I doing that can be perceived as over-bearing or smothering? Am I allowing an open exchange of ideas, opinions, outcomes, etc.? Am I dominating the conversation/relationship? Do I take others' feelings and needs into account? In this way we can get real with ourselves, learn something about ourselves and grow from the experience. Or we can make it mean that we are Domineering, Uncaring, Selfish. And we can move forward through life believing this about ourselves - a sure-fire recipe for relentless suffering.     

When moving through these emotionally charged experiences, self-care and self-love are crucial. We must stay present to our pain, bending our ear towards it, allowing it to express itself fully. This hurts and yet it is the fire we must walk through to reach the other side. So yes, sometimes we will be wailing and mourning, and we can support ourselves through this process in myriad ways. We can  reach out to other beloveds who are really good at holding us (not talking us out of our pain, or bashing our ex, etc.). We can journal, take baths, do yoga, do breathwork, study, have fun, whatever our go-to's are for feeling AUTHENTICALLY better. (This means getting drunk to forget about it is not doing us any favors.) And most importantly, we hold ourselves in the process, knowing it is a spiral journey; one day we will feel good, like we're moving past it and the next day we will feel wrecked again. That's how the spiral works, it's not a linear process.

So we honor the relationship/partnership, we honor the ending of the relationship/partnership, we honor ourselves and our (now ex) partners, we honor the totality of our human journey. We remember to lean into the deep unseen Perfection that is always at hand, always revealing itself as our lives. Most of us do not have the perspective to pull back far enough to see the genius patterns of our existence; if we could, we would see that every single aspect of our lives is perfect, on purpose, carefully and specifically created by us, for us, so that our souls may grow and we may know ourselves more fully as Love and Wholeness. We can keep this knowing close, even as we feel the fullness of pain our human experience sometimes affords.

(For the record, my beloved and I did not split. There have been several deeply impactful breakups around me, one so close it may as well have been mine. And it brought up the unfinished business of every break-up I've experienced, a gift for which I am eternally grateful.)

So today is a very good day to set Intentions for the coming year. The New Moon is in Libra with a Venus influence. Libra rules the mirrored consciousness - our charge to create the world we desire inside of us first and the outer world will (must) reflect it back to us. And Venus is about Love; we have spent much of this year being schooled on how to give, receive and BE Love. So we are called to set Intentions around creating a world that reflects back to us all the Love we can possibly receive. (Thank you for this Dr. Michael Lennox.) We are called to create balanced relationships, where we are giving and receiving equally, where there is an open flow of alert attentiveness and appreciation without need. (As an aside - Receiving is a practice that is very worthy of our attention. A lot of us are really bad at it and don't even know it. Maybe investigate that for yourself.)

This weekend also marks the beginning of the Jewish High Holidays, the beginning of the Jewish New Year. It is the time of year we take stock of the previous cycle, allowing ourselves to see what worked and what didn't, how we fell short, how we hurt ourselves and others. We admit our failings and shortcomings, we ask for forgiveness, we make amends. And then we dream the coming year - a sweeter year - into being.

Here's to all the Sweetness and Love you can hold <3

Still Falling

Bright Blessings Beloveds!! Well, we’re still in it. As of this writing we are just past the eclipse portal/wormhole that began at the beginning of September with the new moon solar eclipse and (mostly) culminated last Friday with the full moon lunar eclipse. The energy will be with us on some level until the new moon on October 1^st. The eclipse energies have been gigantic, for me at least. I have been in the washing machine of perspective, turning this way and that, sometimes upright, sometimes sideways, sometimes upside down, literally. I have had many AHA moments, when I am in an instant gifted with a pristinely clear view of something I have been trying to see for – in some cases – years. It’s been very freeing, for quite often the seeing brings release. I have said goodbye to a lot these past weeks.

Two themes have come forward repeatedly; Purification and Release. Purification has played out in raja yoga, lots of time in water, gong (playing and receiving), meditation, breath work, and exercise. And Release has come largely in the dream time. My mind and nervous system have been calm enough to simply stay present to what is happening, without making it mean anything, without needing to understand, although Clarity is abundantly present. In times like these, I stay as quiet as I can, eat as well as I can and sleep as much as I can. It’s really important to support ourselves as deeply as possible during these amplified energetic stretches. On last Friday’s full moon, I wrote down all that was/is releasing and included a few things I would consciously like to let go of and then burnt the pages in ceremony. And at the next full moon I will release those ashes into the wind during a full moon hike. (As an aside I HIGHLY RECOMMEND FULL MOON HIKES. Many of you have asked me how to ‘build’ magic in your everyday lives - full moon hikes are guaranteed magic. Grab a sister or two, head out to someplace familiar in Nature and simply take it in. If you can be close to moving water, even better. And the great news is you have an opportunity every single month to experience this!!).

As I wrote in my last newsletter, the energies of this eclipse season have allowed us to see hidden aspects of our past so that we can release it. When we release anything, it is important that we come from a place of gratitude, for our lives are our teachers, in every way. Every person we interact with whether in big or small ways, is our teacher. So we release with gratitude for the experience, grateful for the lesson regardless of how painful or difficult it may have been. We are honed by pain; our most difficult relationships are like sand, creating us as the pearl. When we hold this in consciousness, we are able to see and experience all of our relationships from an elevated perspective. Everyone, every single person in your life is with you for a reason – your soul has called them in on purpose. Find out what that purpose is and work with it; this will allow you to receive the fullness of the divine design you are creating and playing out as your life.

The current energies feature Mercury in retrograde, in Virgo, and the Fall Equinox today. Mercury represents our mind and when in retrograde, our minds are turned within, viewing our inner landscape. When the retrograde happens in an Earth sign (this year all of Mercury’s retrogrades are in Earth signs), our inner view is specifically oriented toward form and manifestation. How do we manifest our inspired ideas and heart’s desires? How do we live our dharma? Virgo represents the place in us that knows how all the moving parts work together harmoniously, so we are in deep instruction mode. Are you listening? Are you holding your fears with love and patience, gently acknowledging them as fear (as opposed to the truth) and then moving forward anyway? Quite often it is the child in us who is fearful; hold her close and let her know she is ok, that you’ve got her. And then do the thing that scares you. (I recently saw a great teaching around the word FEAR: Forget Everything And Run OR Face Everything And Rise. It’s your choice.) Realize that it’s not your job to know the whole picture, right now, today. It’s your job to know your dreams and desires and to listen to what the very next step is to serve them. You don’t need to know all the details of the divine plan that is your life; you need only remember that there is a divine plan (created by you, for you), that you can tune in with it regularly, and allow it to instruct you as to what to do next. After you do that one thing, tune in again to find out what’s after that. Let the infinite creativity of the Universe take care of the big picture. You just do you, authentically serving the highest out-picturing of your life right now. In this way, in small steps, you will find yourself on your dharmic path, delivering the good you came to embody.   

The Fall Equinox occurs today. This is when the sun (our consciousness) crosses the plane of the equator, creating a day with equal light and darkness. We in the northern hemisphere will  complete the cycle where there was more daylight than darkness, where we were more focused on the outer consciousness, the world, and doing/manifesting. This important balance point is a rest to our entire system, a moment to pause in stillness. Tomorrow we will head into the time when darkness increasingly rules the day, when we begin to turn within to receive the gifts of winter. But first we must reap the benefits of what we have sown this year – we harvest what has grown. More on that next month. For now see if you can create a little time today to simply pause and be. Sometimes when I do this, I lay down on the floor or ground, someplace with an interesting overhead view and I just allow my eyes to be with the shapes I see and use my breath to soften and relax my body. And I just lay there and rest. It’s quite wonderful.

Holding you all in the perfect light of Balance and Harmony.

Water, Eclipses, (Not) Seeking

Greetings Beloveds! I am recently back from nearly a month of traveling, catching up on life’s myriad details and ‘unpacking’ my experiences in the American South, Singapore and Bali. Three very different places, each with a unique energetic that triggered, revealed, delighted, inspired and soothed depending on the day. I spent a lot of time on, near and in water. I was fortunate to experience two different ceremonies with water in Bali, one at Pura Besakih, the Hindu ‘Mother’ temple which is more than one thousand years old, situated on the slopes of a vast volcano. We happened to visit on a festival day so the temple was filled with families who we joined in prayer and ceremony. There was a group of women sitting next to me on the ground – we were the only foreigners as far as we could tell – who asked our driver why we were there. He interpreted my answer (that we believe in and honor all gods), and the woman closest to me smiled broadly as she looked into my eyes. They included me in their group and I followed their actions as the priest came and blessed us each individually with water and rice. We prayed with flowers as offerings, which carries a sweetness that is hard to describe. Later in the trip we went to the family compound of a high priest where we partook in a Melacut, a purification and blessing with water. We arrived early which gave us an opportunity to watch the group before us perform their ritual, which was for the son’s birthday. Balinese people count ‘birthdays’ every six months from birth; the family goes to the local high priest to mark the occasion with a purification and blessing ceremony. The one with the birthday states his intentions during this ceremony and the priest sanctifies them. What a powerful practice!

Balinese people also have temples in their family compounds, which they make very ceremoniously beautiful. They pray with offerings every day, sometimes several times a day, and particularly when prayer is specifically called for, like when a family member is ill, or trying for a new job or making a journey. Their gods literally inhabit a physical form in their houses, allowing for an intimate and consistent relationship, which shows up in their energetic fields, hearts and faces. I have never seen such truly joyful people as those in Bali. It was very humbling!

One thing I came away with is how powerful it is to be a ‘householder’. In Kundalini, the everyday practitioner who has a job (or two) and maybe a family, who does daily sadhana and practice – however that looks - is considered a householder. A holy person with one foot firmly planted in the material world. I used to judge my daily practice -whether it was in fact daily, how long I spent, how deep I went, how ‘holy’ I felt, how much of a change I was making in the world. Now I just do what I do, with the purest heart and intentions I can muster. I am a householder, being my best. Some days I am not being my best and that’s okay too, as long as I am gentle with myself, and get up the next day and begin anew to be my best. My love and devotion for the Divine is unwavering; my God lives in my house. I am always aware on some level of my connection to the Whole, even when a greater part of me is momentarily captured by the material world. That’s what Bali felt like – a beautiful balance of chaos and peace, noise and silence, action and stillness. All wrapped in crazy, holy waters, flowers that hold the vibration of prayer, and smiles as wide as a face can hold.

Osho said “Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand. Relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.”

                                                                                              

Beginning in September, we have eclipse season, which is always a powerful time to get quiet and still so that we may benefit from the opportunities offered for Clarity, Illumination and Expansion. September 1^st (actually beginning at 11:15pm August 31^st, ending at 5:00am on September 1^st) is an annular or partial solar eclipse that happens on the New Moon in Virgo. While it will not be visible to us in North America, it is a revelatory moment, where we are offered clarity in a backward glance, toward our past, where we can perhaps gain understanding about who we’ve been, how we’ve operated and how our choices have created our lives now. This glance has the tone of a positive assessment, offering a leap forward in self-understanding and consciousness (as opposed to a wallowing in mis-takes). We can use this reality check to burn away any blocks or self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us from our brightest being. We can also use it to burn off toxicity, both physical and energetic, so consider a mini-cleanse and/or a sauna and/or a purification ceremony to support that process. Solar eclipses have the potential to sap us of physical vitality in the days prior (I feel like I’m already there) so it can be helpful to notice energy drains so that we can let those practices, behaviors, beliefs, foods, (people) go. In the outer world, as the hidden becomes revealed through this backward glance, it may ratchet up the intensity of the confusion, violence and imbalance we’ve been with globally for many months. As always, it is our path to hold the center by holding ourselves in stillness, in light, knowing the eternal truths of this world, of ourselves and all beings. Our consciousness matters and we must wield it with purpose, particularly at pivotal moments like eclipses.

The second eclipse of September happens on the 16^th (beginning 9:54am, ending 1:54pm), a penumbral or partial lunar eclipse that happens on the Full Moon in Leo. Again, it will not be visible in North America and yet we can feel its effects and work with its energy, which is similar to that of the solar eclipse. This one will offer us a moment of huge release – of old wounds and fears, allowing us an opportunity to transcend negative traits and patterns. Lunar eclipses affect us on a deep internal level, where we can facilitate substantial shifts in our hidden workings – a sea change as it were. Illumination is always an inside job, generated from within us, and then projected out into the world. This is just such a moment to fan the inner flame, particularly after we free ourselves of emotional and energetic gunk from the past. As always the moon affects us emotionally, and this eclipse will likely stir up hidden emotional triggers, which we can work with consciously to release. It’s important to stay as present as possible so that when we are triggered, we can notice and work with the what and the why of the trigger rather than just being triggered. When we can look past the phenomena of the trigger itself and figure out exactly what in us got triggered, we can begin to clear that energetic and thereby clear that trigger. This month will be an important time to be vigilant in this work! To support yourself, do whatever you can to be present. For me this means putting away my phone, staying away from screens, working with my breath and moving my body in a focused way. And of course a daily kundalini practice. Figure out whatever it means for you and commit to it. Work with the geometries, they can shift and perfect our fields in ways that are beyond language…

That Pot Is Still Cookin'

Greetings from the mighty Mississippi! I have been exploring this great river aboard an American paddle wheel boat, which set out from New Orleans and will end in Memphis on Saturday. I have not spent time in the deep south and it’s been quite eye opening and also freeing as I release a lot of limited and uninformed beliefs about southern people and slavery. Slavery is a big issue for me right now; it is something I have always had a lot of energy around and it is profound being here along the Mississippi where it flourished in the US. I have had a chance to speak with African Americans about slavery; this is very enlightening! Although as they would say here ‘that pot is still cookin’ so I’m still in the thick of it, no clarity just yet.

One thing that is clear is that ‘Black Lives Matter'. I know, All Lives Matter, that’s a given and right now we’re talking about black lives in the United States. I got to have dinner last night with an amazing black woman named Judy. From the outside she looks like what I would expect in the South; enormous, with a big booming voice and gigantic laugh, and a heart bigger than she is. As she spoke I realized she is incredibly intelligent, well spoken, compassionate, wise, and hysterically funny. And she has an amazing singing voice which she uses regularly in conversation. Her father was a Southern Baptist Minister who marched with Dr. King. What she had to say about current black/white relations is this: during slavery white folks viewed black folks as an investment, as property that they could use any way they pleased. After the Civil War, they viewed them as evidence of their loss. (Many plantation owners along the Mississippi became VERY wealthy from the gains of their slave labor; all that went away after the war). They were resentful and angry towards black people, and distrustful - which carried over from the days of slavery. Distrust was inherent in master/slave relations as the white folks were always outnumbered by their slaves and constantly fearful of an uprising. Fast forward to the turn of the century and black folks are viewed as cheap, disposable labor. From there they are seen as takers, dependent on welfare, and ultimately as drug dealers and crooks. There are whole pockets of society who still feel this way, who have never ‘cleaned their windshield’  to see what is actually true for African Americans today. Those folks have never known that Black Lives Matter. So this is the work, to allow this understanding to permeate the whole of American hearts and minds.

Another theme I’ve been with on this trip is just how much of a bubble I live in. The South is a loooooong way from Southern California. When I see things that are abhorrent to me, my mantra has become “These people have a right to believe that.” I try to find room where I can hold their beliefs with equanimity. (Although I can’t help thinking that these are the folks who will elect Donald Trump President). California largely reflects my values and so I get to grow bigger in a place that does not. I am not right and they are not wrong. We are all on this journey to find the truth of ourselves out here in the wilderness called human being. And so I step over what has been revealed to me as my prejudices and judgements and feelings of superiority, and listen to what the South is saying. It’s important, to listen to all sides without holding steadfast to one particular view. To listen with the intent of gathering information, rather than gathering evidence of why I’m right. It’s quite a stretch ;-)

Tonight is the full moon and I plan to release old beliefs so that I can make room for what’s actually true. The planets are still holding patterns that can out-picture as anger, aggression and violence and will do so until mid-September. And so we hold steady, adhere to our daily practices and ferociously know the greater truth of this world as Oneness, as Love in action, as Peace.

Enough.

What is happening in our world right now with regards to race relations may be hard to fathom, and it's not what you think. Energetically it is the end of the fear-filled, us-against-them, separation mentality that has ruled cultures, societies and our minds for millennia. I know it looks like things are 'getting worse' and they are, and it's the death rattle of this already-dead paradigm. You know how when you stare at the sun and then close your eyes, the image of the sun persists? Your eyes are closed; the image is 'gone' and yet for a few moments you can still see it. That's what's happening with the patriarchal paradigm. Its last gasp is energetically powerful, like the death of a star. When a sun runs out of energy, it begins a process of collapse, the very last stages of which create tremendous amounts of energy that result in a colossal explosion called a supernova. We are in the supernova of the patriarchal paradigm, so the shit's gonna be real wonky for a while.

The good news is we have already tipped into a new era, ruled by the energies of Aquarius, which bodes well for the future of humanity and all sentient beings. Very well indeed. Right now however, we've only just passed out of the era of separation, which was ruled by the dark side of Piscean energies, which are about deception, illusion, falsity, secrets and the like. We have been in a cycle for many lifetimes that was all about the absence of or separation from Truth. We have been our own worst enemies, believing we are separate, believing that there must be winners and losers, that we must compete for power and resources. We have been pitting ourselves against one another, bereft of the knowledge that we are one thing, one entity, one system. When one loses, the whole loses, when one wins, everyone wins. This is the essential truth of Oneness (see 'Cauldron' from 4/21/16 for more on Oneness). We have been living under the very dark illusion that the 'truth is out there' and we must find it but first we must somehow become worthy of it, and then we must be part of some sort of secret club that can provide it to us. Many organized religions are based on this thinking. And it establishes the illusion of us against them. "We have the truth and they don't." And this is easily extrapolated along racial lines; we are better/smarter/more worthy than them because of the color of our skin. Our physiology/gifts and talents are better than theirs. Operating under this illusion creates fear because fear thrives in the absence of truth. And so we have been fearful of one another and even more so now, within this supernova.

Did you see the heart-breaking video from the shooting of Philandro Castile? The white cop is terrified. He shot Mr. Castile out of fear, which is fed by ignorance of the truth. I cannot begin to know what being a police officer is like, however I can discern from all the shootings of innocent black men by white cops that there is a lot of fear involved, an old, deeply engrained paradigm of fear that possibly harkens back to the days of slavery in this country. There were no public reparations for slavery; no apologies or amends, no responsibility taken, no offers of restitution. No atonement, no healing. (I've often wondered how this might have been different had Abraham Lincoln lived to lead us through the aftermath of the Civil War.) As it was, we couldn't be with the truth of just how egregious slavery was and so we ignored it and moved on. Healing would have allowed us to own our actions, seek forgiveness, and make amends - the age-old recipe for healthy emotional/spiritual/social living.  Healing would have allowed us to release our densest emotions together; in its absence, we still carry some heavy energies from those times. And it largely plays out as fear. I believe the situation we are currently in with regards to black/white relations in this country is the out-picturing of this unattended paradigm of fear. Fear disguised as aggression. From both sides. Although from the black side, we can throw in anger, from being persecuted for no reason other than the color of their skin. And, on second thought, anger on the white side as well, as projection of our unheeded fear.

So here we are. And what now? To begin with, I think it would be profoundly healing if the United States apologized for slavery in a very public and ceremonial way, as in every citizen of this country partakes in some manner. This would not be a political event although it would involve our power structure all the way up to the president. (Maybe we could even get the Illuminati involved ;-) It would need to be profound enough to reach all the way into us, past lifetimes of constructed barriers, into our vulnerable and ready hearts. Maybe we could create some kind of "Heal Slavery" National Holiday, where we could be collectively led through multi-dimensional ceremonial healing that ripples throughout all communities, top to bottom. We could offer reparations in the form of college educations, vocational training and the like to African Americans. We could subsidize loans for housing and entrepreneurial endeavors. We could invest in our poorest communities. We could cut our military budget (by like what, 1%?) to pay for these programs. And then follow that with another National Holiday (maybe we could replace Columbus Day) like Unity Day, where again, we are led through ceremonial unity practices. And maybe we could even make it cool to be unified. And we could open dialogues between white folks and black folks in those areas of the country where fear has been the prevailing paradigm, so that we allow ourselves to see that we are more alike than different, that our hearts are the same, that our fears are unfounded.

We can create a completely new training paradigm for police, one that is not based on a 'Might Makes Right' mentality. It is not us against them. It is us, together, protecting one another. I recently heard a podcast about a bouncer who worked the door for a stage theater in a very dicey neighborhood of Los Angeles during the 80's. He was a small guy who carried no weapon. He had a unicycle, a bird on his shoulder and all manner of magic tricks and sound machines. When there was any kind of a dust up, which was pretty often, he used distraction and humor to snap people back into reality and derail them from their mal intentions. And it totally worked; no one ever got hurt, including him. When interviewed, he showed an innate understanding of human nature and the ability to instantly connect people to their humanity. Maybe we can find someone like that guy to redesign law enforcement in this country.

And, lastly, we can rediscover the truth of ourselves, for in doing so we remember the truth of all beings. We are one thing, not separate. When I find my way into loving you, I find myself, mirrored in your eyes. Love is our inherent nature. Let us usher out the illusion of hatred and separation and allow ourselves to find our way into forgiveness and healing. Perhaps we can release the energetics of 'racism' which often keeps us from reaching out to one another. After the shootings in Orlando, much of the world rallied around the gay communities in a way that made them feel known and held. When something happens like the recent atrocities against the black community, I have difficulty finding my way into a supportive place that doesn't feel racist on some level. "Black Lives Matter" feels true of course, and it also feels like separation. ALL lives matter. Perhaps in our meet-up we can embody this Truth. Perhaps we can commit to giving ourselves permission to feel the chasm all the way down to its roots, to allow healing there, and to begin anew from that healed place.

And now, what are your thoughts? How can you add to this conversation? How can we join together to begin this work? How can we get others to join? What is the way forward to making this a reality?

Solstice is XXL

Greetings Fellow Travelers.

Ok. June is big. You probably already know that. Things are likely feeling more and more intense as we build toward the Summer Solstice happening on June 20^th at 3:34pm PST. The Solstice as we know is a Balance Point, a moment where the tilted axis of Earth is aligned directly with the Sun, giving the Northern Hemisphere its longest day, or the most light it will receive in a calendar year. A celebration of light as it were, Sunlight, which represents our conscious awareness and is considered a masculine energy. And on the same day, we have a full Moon, which represents our unconscious awareness (or Shadow) and is feminine. So at this natural Balance Point, we have massive light shining on the whole of us, light and shadow, masculine and feminine. That’s a huge moment of opportunity all on its own.

Add to that the energies of 2016 to date, which have been DEEP, which completely shift gears in the last two weeks of June in a seriously wonderful way. Together it creates an enormous opportunity for evolution and change, which is what humanity is up to (like it or not) collectively anyway. If we work consciously within this portal, you can be AN ENTIRELY NEW PERSON after Solstice. That sounds nice, right?

I have been trying to wrap my head around all the planets and energies in play – it’s A LOT, representing a boat load of possibilities – so that I can condense it down into a cogent and palatable portion for ya’ll. (You’re welcome). Much of this is intuitive, feeling which angle and form to follow for information. The overall picture for me is this: one of the major astrological players of 2016 is a square between Saturn and Neptune, which hits three times throughout a one year period that began in November 2015; it’s second time is June 18^th, two days before the Solstice. The energy of the square between these two is huge; Saturn represents discipline, foundation and structure. It is a very grounded energy, and one that always rewards you for your hard work, although maybe not as quickly as you would like. Saturn is an outer, slow moving planet; its lessons require time and patience. Neptune is also an outer, slow-moving planet, and has a long-term influence like Saturn. Neptune is about the mystical realms, vision, miracles, perception, dreams. It can also bring fogginess/confusion and escapism/addictions. Neptune is a somewhat ungrounded energy, an ‘anything is possible’ sort of feeling. When these two planets are squared, they are opposed, they influence one another through conflict/tension. It is as though the Neptune energy needs to be contained by the discipline and structure of Saturn. They work together to bring Vision and Possibility into the 3D through disciplined practice. The great vision is realized through disciplined practice. THIS MEANS YOUR DAILY PRACTICE. Now throw in Jupiter (expansion, abundance, your good) in the North Nodes (your future/dharma) and you’ve got this beautiful expanded vison of the fullness of what your life can be, ushered into your body/mind/experience through your disciplined practice. Now let’s throw in Pluto (the power to manifest) in first Capricorn (through structure and form) and then in Virgo & Taurus (how to get shit done on the Earth plane). And of course Venus and Mercury are also players so let’s add incorporating it all into the heart and mind as well. Are you getting this picture?? (To use the words of Dr. Michael Lennox, this Solstice moment is like an unmissable neon sign pointing, saying “Your greatness is this way.”)

The entire first half of 2016 was largely an inward glance, to see ourselves, our habits/patterns/ways of being as well as our shadow (those aspects that are hard to see, like our smallness, pettiness, jealousy, fear, shame, etc.) so that we can transform them. We were being prepared for what was next. The Solstice is a big ‘ole light shone directly on us, like high noon, where we can see the whole picture, corners and all.  And the full moon offers us light in the darkness so that picture includes the normally hidden aspects, our light and dark places. And so now our path and work is laid out before us with Clarity. We can really see where we need to work, what wants to be released, what wants to be reclaimed and integrated, what wants to be loved and nurtured so that it can grow, what the out-picturing of our highest good/dharma wants to look like and how it can be manifested. And all of this will happen through our daily spiritual practice.

If you are a spiritual seeker/light worker/awakened one, at this point you must have a daily practice. There is no more avoiding it. We are being called to connect to Spirit on a daily, regular basis, in a disciplined, responsible way. This also means you have a daily and regular practice of self-inquiry, investigating your inner workings, using the material of your ordinary everyday life. How are you facilitating your experience? Where is your attention? Are you using your spiritual tools to mitigate negative mind/suffering? Are you taking responsibility for your experience, are you creating consciously, are you capable of shifting your perspective when needed? Are you able to slow down? Can you pull way out, see as much of yourself and the situation as is available? Are you doing everything you can to maintain the highest vibration possible so that your very life is in service to others and this planet?

Dr. Lennox says “Your dharma is here and present now. You must be in your life, on a daily basis embodying a higher vibration and spreading that vibration to others in ANY WAY that you find works for you. Not someday, not one day. Now.” This means you do not have to run out and become a yoga teacher or spiritual counselor in order to spread your goodness. You can do this in your regular job, today, with everyone you meet. You can do this with other drivers on the freeway, with prayer and care for your fellow human beings and for the extraordinary being that is the planet. You can do this by doing your inner work, shedding your illusions, knowing the truth of yourself and living from that truth. When you enlighten yourself, you enlighten all of humanity.

I am grateful for your work!!

And finally, for various reasons too numerous to list here, Solstice is also a very potent portal to release anything that needs to be shed in order for your greatest good to be realized. I would suggest doing ceremony on the 20^th that might include meditation, visioning, and releasing, however that looks for you.

Happy, Magnificent, Light-filled, Soul-full Solstice To You <3