AMPLIFIED AND EVEN EXALTED

Greetings Beautiful Ones! We've got a lot of astrological weather happening so let's jump right in. First I want to say that Astrology is simply a wheel (within a wheel within a wheel within a wheel...) of cycles that we can use to map our lives, short term and long term. We can also look to these constantly-generating patterns for clues about the human evolutionary journey both in this lifetime and across many generations and millennia. Time was when we lived by cycles for our very existence, but in the span of a few hundred years, we've largely removed ourselves from this knowledge. Cycles are like roadmaps - they let us know where we've been, where we are, where we're going and which roads are best to deliver us to our intended destination. Cycles provide the framework (and mirror) for how this Reality plays itself out; if we pay attention and use this information to our advantage, our work is amplified and even exalted. Every year around my birthday I get a 'Solar Return' reading with my favorite astrologer, which helps me to know what the major themes of the coming year are for me, what to expect, how to best work with the energies. It also helps me understand how current cycles feed future ones, so that I can prepare for the long-term themes my life will be presenting me.

A major astrological marker for the collective appeared last week, when Uranus moved from Aries into Taurus, beginning a seven-year cycle that suggests a period of upheaval, turmoil and sudden shifts - mainly in the areas of technology, finance and the Earth itself. We're already seeing this play out in an obvious way with the Kilauea eruption in Hawaii. Uranus changes signs every seven years and in Aries, it was all youthful enthusiasm, sprinting towards change at any cost, burning down one house before building another. In Taurus, it's more grounded and plodding (think lava flow) but rest assured, change will happen - initiating in bursts that are sudden and shocking, in ways that shift the very landscape of everything. Uranus loves change, loves the lightning flash of awakening while Taurus hates it, preferring everything to remain static. Taurus is also very capable and a legendary problem solver, so at least the craziness ahead will be ultimately well-managed and grounded. And it's likely not going to feel great. To give you a sense of scale, the last time Uranus transited Taurus, the Stock market crashed, ushering in the Great Depression. And World War II happened. Now that doesn't mean the same will happen again; today's world is vastly different than it was eighty-some years ago so the energy will likely play itself out in different ways. It will be big though, and world changing. 

What to do with this? I'm not even going to answer that question because I've answered it ad nauseam. Ok, I'll answer it again. CREATE A DAILY PRATICE THAT ACTIVATES AND SERVES YOUR HIGHEST SELF AND DO THE PRACTICE. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. This will allow you to be operating at your highest frequency, so that when the shit gets all around wonky, you will have the wherewithal to stand in the face of the change, fear, discomfort, pain or _________ and simply be with it without crumbling. Or, if a response is required, you will clearly see what Right Action is in that moment (your absolute best response) and have the grit to DO IT. When you function regularly from this place, you're telling the Universe, "Um, I'm an effing Master" and the Universe is all "Right, got it, let me usher you along the Master's path." And I'm not saying that life will become all sweetness and roses because that's not realistic, however life will feel good. Even when it doesn't. 

Another potent astrological event occurred last month when Chiron - the wounded healer - moved from Pisces into Aries, where it will largely remain until 2026. The wounded healer refers to someone like me, who in my endless quest to heal my own wounds, realized I now have the capacity to usher others along the road towards their own healing. Chiron heals itself; now that it's left the watery, foggy, dreamy lands of Pisces, the fire and light of Aries will allow our wounded places to become very clear to us, as will our ability and responsibility to heal ourselves. While we can look to others for markers along the path, our true healing can only come from within. Healing, like Happiness, is an inside job.

I'm personally already experiencing the lightning bolts of self-healing. A few days ago I saw in an instant the truth of a friendship I've had for years wherein I gave my power away to this friend within moments of meeting her. My very first thought was that her consciousness was amazing, so much bigger than mine so from that moment, I took everything she said as true, even when it didn't jive with my own inner knowing. Through the years when she would tell me things about me, I would believe it without question, thinking "I must not be subtle enough to feel what she feels", or "I must be blind so I can't see what she sees." And then, in a lightning flash of insight, I had a full body experience of "FUCK NO SHE IS NOT RIGHT ABOUT ME." When I allowed that thought to settle, I saw how I have been using her to sabotage myself for years, based on a dynamic I set up in the first five minutes of knowing her. WOW!! And when I reclaimed myself from that relationship, my energetic field grew noticeably bigger. I had two consecutive nights of incredible dream-time, where I was taught more about the nature of Energy, how it flows, how to wield it and how to share these teachings with the world. WOW again.

So my friends, do your practices, do your work. Examine your relationships. Are they based on mutual respect and equal footing or have you given yourself away? Has someone given their power to you and do you unconsciously take advantage of that? Remember when you do this work it's never about the other person - your work is to examine your part in it. Their part is their business. Your work is YOU. Go through all your close relationships with family, friends, bosses, work-mates, mentors, etc. Where you've given yourself away, take yourself back. Forgive yourself and others and gently release that agreement. Create in its place a dynamic of understanding that we are all infinitely valuable, bringing our different gifts to the Whole. Each gift is precious and cannot be compared to another. 

You are precious - to me, to the world, to Life itself.

PEACE IN THE SPACE BETWEEN BULLETS

Greetings my Beloveds. It's been a while. As I logged in to write this, I realized I've started two blog posts that I didn't finish - something I never do - probably because I've been bogged down with recurrent sinus infections that are really dulling my vibe, mainly due to the (over-the-counter) pharmaceuticals I've been taking in order to function. These put me so far under water, I cannot think straight or clearly. And it's been months of this! I have so much compassion for people who have live on allergy meds!! I am in the process of investigating the physical source of the allergies/infections so that I can clear this shit up and out.

So! 2018 continues to be a great opportunity to overcome challenges, yes? Delays, set-backs, fuck-ups, confusion, fear, what have I missed? Oh right, Joy in the face of sadness, Peace in the space between bullets, Hope in the face of despair. Knowing All Is Well even when it looks like hell. I've been in a curious place of shifting my daily practice to accommodate my physical limitations, which means it's essentially just chanting and meditation and it's been wonderful proving to myself that any effort is fruitful; as long as I touch in with the Divine, regardless of how that looks, I can maintain a through-line of Joy. Sometimes I get caught up in the thought form that it has to look a certain way in order to 'work' - hmmmm. Maybe I've stumbled on the purpose of the sinus infections - or at least one of the gifts of this suffering! Actually I'm pretty sure the sinus stuff is repressed anger, so it's back to the 'basement' of my sub/non-conscious for investigation. Sometimes it feels like I live in the friggin basement, know what I'm saying?

So what's the anger about? The largest part is the apoplectic rage of the Collective Feminine from countless generations of mistreatment, abuse, subjugation, suppression, etc. We've finally allowed ourselves to open the door to that deep dark basement and dang but it's stinky down there. Putrid. Not easy to be with. Once we acclimate to the rage, we may also find profound mistrust of the Masculine. And so I start at the beginning, with the Masculine in my family - father, husband. 

Game on.

How to do this work? I work best in the Unseen, meaning I put myself in a deep meditative state and then call in the soul of the one I wish to work with. This is highly effective because trust me, if I called up my dad and said, "Can we please work through the seething anger that I secretly harbor toward you?", I have a sense it wouldn't go well. So I work with my dad's soul, that part of him that knows and can hold the truth of our relationship, that can see and hold my anger. And we converse. I can come to this conversation as any age, any part of me - the infant Jaclyn, the little girl, the teenager, the young adult and the grown me. All have a part in this story however it's good to start at the place that has the biggest charge; if your parents got divorced when you were 13 and you blame your dad, maybe start there by bringing your 13-year-old self in to see what she has to say. Mine began in utero (my dad divorced my mom when she was pregnant with me) so my starting point is crystal clear. It's important when you're doing this work that you work through each step slowly and clearly. First touch in with your own soul however you do that (meditation is great for this) and then call in the soul you wish to work with. Wait for them to arrive, attuning your sensitivity so that you can actually feel that happen. Once you feel them present, ask if they are willing to have a conversation with you and wait for their agreement. (If they say 'No', ask if there is another time they would be willing to converse.) And then begin. Speak your heart. Say exactly what your infant/little girl/teenager/adult needs to say, no filters, no judgements. Allow room for them to receive and respond. Ask questions. Work your stuff out. And then end with love and gratitude and perhaps an agreement to work again in the future. And, more good news, this works even if the one you wish to converse with has passed on. Their soul still exists, will always exist - and in some ways it's easier than working with a soul that's still embodied. 

Working in the Unseen is so powerful because everything happens there first. We create energetically and then it eventually condenses down into the physical experience. When we work in the Unseen, it ripples out from the collective fields of the involved souls, through the field of the Void/All Possibility and into every aspect of our being. It heals the energetic body and can shift absolutely everything. I can shift the field of relationship with my dad by allowing those injured parts of me to speak/emote/release the pain of _________, and by doing so, shift and/or heal my relationship with my husband because I will no longer be bringing that unexpressed pain and anger into our every interaction. See how that works?

This type of work is not 'exotic' or 'strange'; it's part of our natural human functionality of interacting with one another on multiple levels, across countless dimensions, soul to soul. What's strange is that we are cut off from these proclivities because of our belief systems, thinking we are only the mind and body. We have experienced so many lifetimes in the density of these bodies that we have forgotten the gifts and super-powers of our soul. Reclaim them my people! It's not something new you have to learn. You already know how to do it because it's literally what you are.

Lastly, thank you for doing this work; by healing yourself, you heal the world. And finally, please remember how loved you are, how seen, known, wanted and celebrated. Know it to your bones and live from that place. 

CREATING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT

Greetings my Beloveds. Wheweee!! The going is rough as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Eleven days ago we had a partial solar eclipse at the New Moon in Aquarius, a reboot of our consciousness around our collective humanity and close relationships. Those areas of our un-consciousness that we have been doing a bang-up job of ignoring are totally out in the open, up for review. Now is a time to see what does not work, like AT ALL ANYMORE, and leave it behind. It’s not surprising that the most recent school shooting happened within this portal; in the past we’ve witnessed these events, been heart-broken and horrified and angry and then we just sort of all ‘forget’ and move on until the next one happens. This time feels different though, doesn’t it? And it’s not the older ‘wiser’ generation who is demanding change; it’s our youth, literally standing up and saying NO. NO MORE. NOT EVER AGAIN. These ones have been activated upon a path of taking responsibility for their world and I can feel the power and force of the slip-stream of consciousness they have said Yes to and it’s HUGE. I’m excited to see how it’s going to roll out.

We too must catch this stream of energy and do our work. Time to get REALLY REALLY clear on what it is we are doing here – what did we incarnate on Earth to do? To be? What is the gift we are bringing to Humanity? It’s time to leave behind ANYTHING that doesn’t serve that mission, be it a thought form (I can’t do it, I’m not smart enough, rich enough, worthy enough, etc.), a behavioral pattern (I hate my job so I need to drink/smoke/numb out at night to feel ok) or a belief system (I’m a piece of shit, born with sin, and I need to pay a man to make me right with God.) All of these are Systems of Illusion that keep us trapped in vicious cycles, that keep us from delivering our dharma, which is the thing we came here to do and be. Ever see a fruit tree that never gets cleared of its fruit? The fruit is the tree’s gift to the world; when it rots on the branches and ground, the stagnant energy eventually makes the tree sick. We are the same – if we are not delivering our dharma, it will ultimately make us sick, either emotionally, physically or spiritually. Know any sick people? I do. If we are not creating something good every day (we are born creators) we will create drama. Know anyone who does that, creates drama for no reason? I do. It is time (well past time, actually) for us to quit this nonsense and tap back into the reason we are here. Our souls know it – it’s written into the blueprint of our DNA. The only thing keeping our consciousness from knowing it are these silly illusions we hold so dear. Time’s up on our f’in illusions, individual and collective. Time to set them down FOREVER.

How do we set them down? Well, I’ve been talking about this for years because this is exactly the work I’ve been doing for years. Go back and read the archives - there’s lots on this subject there, lots of tools and practices to help you begin this important work. In short, we must examine everything we believe about ourselves and the world and see if it’s actually true for us. Examine your habits and patterns; where did they come from? Do they reflect who you are or did you inherit/adopt them from someone else? Examine your belief systems. Where did they come from? Are they actually true for you? Examine your childhood. What did your parents actually think of you? What ideas about yourself did you inherit from them? Are they true? Are you that? If so, do you want to keep being that or would you like to change?

Here’s an example of this kind of inquiry from my own life, around coffee. (I know, totally mundane, but watch where it goes). Coffee ‘told’ me every single morning that I needed it to function, and I believed it for MANY MANY years. It literally was my first thought upon waking – where is my coffee and how do I get it? Then my body started telling me that coffee wasn’t my friend and I was like ‘that can’t be right because I need it every single day to function.’ I ignored my body for a long time because what it was telling me didn’t jive with my very engrained thought form. When I finally grew weary of the struggle between my body and the thought form, I took a hard look at it - where did I get the idea that I needed coffee first thing every day? In college, when I worked two jobs, I didn’t get much sleep. There were nights that I worked until 11pm and then went  home to write a paper, due the next day. Coffee kept me up to get my work done and coffee got me up and to class the next morning so I adopted the thought form that I needed coffee to function. And when I dug deeper, I discovered another thought form I’d carried since childhood that said I was lazy, had low energy and was unmotivated. Coffee was the antidote. So I asked myself, ‘Am I lazy?’ Nope, never been lazy. Ok, easy to release that one. Do I have low energy? Yes, I’ve had low blood pressure my whole life, which I counteract with exercise. Do I need coffee for that? Nope, exercise does the trick and as I’ve aged, my blood pressure has risen into normal range, so I’m all good. Am I unmotivated? Yep, around doing things I hate like paperwork, filing and mundane tasks. I’ve been working with Saturn (the Cosmic Taskmaster) on that, and I’ve actually started to enjoy ticking those things off my ToDo list. Examining these thought forms allowed me to see that they were never or no longer true so I could easily release them. Then I turned back to coffee, my long-time love. What was true about coffee? Well, it’s delicious, yes. SO SO delicious. Also it makes my whole system acidic and it fuels my monkey mind so that my thoughts race. So here I am, dedicated to a quiet, meditative mind, so much so that my entire life is structured around practices to achieve this and the first thing I do every single morning works against that? Isn’t that interesting?? This opened up a whole new area of inquiry that led to a whole new set of false beliefs to release. And I easily quit drinking coffee every day.

Once you get good at knowing what you are not, you can begin deciding what you are. Only you get to decide this as you are solely responsible for you. You alone get to create your self-concept. You get to decide who you are right now, who you will be tomorrow and who you will be next week. In this eclipse portal (which runs through July) you have a giant push of cosmic energy to help with this process. Self-Concept is literally your declaration of who you are. As I was holding the self-concept of “I am a person who needs to have coffee every day in order to function”, my life organized around that concept and let me tell you, I was very successful in procuring coffee every morning. Everyone around me and the Universe itself conspired to make that happen. Now I hold a self-concept of “I wake energized and charged for whatever the day asks of me” and that's simply what's true now. I can put whatever I like into my self-concept (although things like “I am a tall person” or “I am a prima ballerina” might be a waste of my energy) and as long as I hold fast to it – like a dog with a bone – my system will organize itself around that concept. I will choose those actions and thoughts that serve it, and the world will mirror it back to me. It’s important to think BIG with your self-concept, as in “I am a boundless creator god, fully tapped into the creative impulse, delivering my dharma with exuberance, grace and love, realizing my dreams, living as a beneficial presence to humanity and to consciousness itself.” Get the picture?  

Your self-concept will evolve over time as you become the thing you declare yourself to be, so you can move onto other self-concepts. What have you always dreamed of being? You can’t get it wrong so be creative, have fun. Keep it open-ended; the Universe has a bigger imagination than you – let it fill in the blanks. Write it down, tape it to your mirror so you can see it when you’re brushing your teeth, put it on your steering wheel, make it the wallpaper of your phone, tape it to your refrigerator. Write it out every single day on a little piece of paper and put it in your pocket. Refuse any thought that contradicts it. Hold steady and fast to it, even when the phenomenal world appears otherwise. Just simply KNOW that it is your birthright to be who you say you are. When you are steadfast in your knowing, the Creative Principle will know it with you and the Cosmos itself will shift to accommodate and support it. And that’s when the magic really begins…

ON BENDED KNEES

Saturn's Rings as seen from Cassini

New Year’s Greeting Beloveds! I hope this finds you catching the slip stream of new beginnings as the Julian calendar tips into 2018. Astrologically and seasonally, there is nothing significant about December 31^st at 11:59:59PM, however humans have been celebrating it for several millennia as a turning towards the New, so we tap into that energetically for ourselves. January becomes a time to renew our homes, health, schedules/routines and the like, as well as revisiting and reviewing our life purpose. 

To prepare myself for this new year, I listened to Dr. Michael Lennox’s Astro Overview for 2018 and it was  L O N G  as in there is a lot going on. I am going to condense it here as best I can. Realize that when any astrologer looks at an entire year taken within the context of wheels within wheels, cycles within cycles, he/she could throw a rock in any direction and hit a major vein of energy on which to focus. It takes an experienced, intuitive astrologer to catch the biggest story and for me, that is Dr. Lennox. Where he chooses to place his attention most often matches my own choices. If you follow an astrologer (AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO) (BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON), find one that matches you energetically so that you can receive intuitively. 

There are two big stories for 2018 and they are 1) Awakening in the World of Form (3D) courtesy of Uranus moving into Taurus and 2) Saturn (yes Saturn is going to be on your last nerve until you shed the body) (wish I was kidding) DEMANDING that you build the forms and structures that support you achieving and maintaining the highest possible vantage point available to you. Let’s break that down.

Uranus is the Great Awakener, and uses any means possible to bring that awakening; your house burns down or you win the lottery - both will equally transform your relationship to the material world. Uranus moves slowly – it’s been in Aries for the past 10 years. Aries is all youthful fire, leap first/question later, “Let’s burn everything down RIGHT NOW OK??!!” Think businesses failing, marriages failing, governments crumbling, social structures disintegrating. Change and transformation all over the place. In May Uranus enters Taurus which is grounded Earth energy that takes all that Aries exuberance and says “Ok, we’re here, shit’s all burned down, now what? How do we integrate these transformations into our physical world? How do we contain and hold what’s emerging now?” We take the concept of Awakening out of the fiery, almost-out-of-control, action orientation into the slow, steady, grounded pause, into inquiry and finding the best way to proceed. And the best way to proceed is best seen from the highest+widest vantage point available, which brings us to #2. 

Saturn.

Saturn is our Great Teacher, the bringer of lessons which leads us to fulfill our karma (righting+releasing past actions) into our Dharma, the energy we incarnated to bring onto the planet, the one we embody when we are fully realized. Saturn has been in Sagittarius - all fiery transparency and authenticity, allowing for no wiggle room. No more faking it or phoning it in. We must be who we say we are or we’re going to get nailed. (See how this worked so beautifully with what Uranus was up to in Aries? It’s all one great big system with incomprehensible genius and precision.) Saturn moved into Capricorn in December and will be there until 2020. Capricorn is an Earth sign that teaches us how to achieve our goals, how to create and maintain the structures that will get us up that mountain in a grounded, real way. No woo woo here. Capricorn puts it head down and does its work no matter what. We’re going to need those Capricorn blinders because the world is going increasingly mad. The ‘crazy’ we’re with now is going to ratchet up steadily, hitting one peak in January 2020, when shit really erupts. This year and next are all about preparing ourselves for the world of 2020. We are going to need to be at the top of the mountain, our highest+best vantage point so that we have some distance off the crazy, so that we can hold the line for what is good, for what works, for how love acts and shows up. In this way we will be part of the solution rather than contributing to the crazy. 

And how do we get up that mountain? Cue the broken record.
BY HAVING A DAILY SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. At this point in the human evolutionary journey, we simply cannot grow into our highest and best potential without one. It does not have to be long or complicated. It just has to be a daily touch-in with your own eternal nature. Decide what it is for you and do it - even for five minutes if that’s all you can manage. JUST DO IT. EVERY GOSH DARNED DAY. Meditate, do the kundalini practice I sent last month, chant, do pranayama exercises, whatever, JUST DO. No more wiggle room, no more excuses. The energy is going to get more and more divided in the 3D, which means the heavy pull of gravity at the negative end of the spectrum of experience will become even heavier. You must have a practice wherein you experience the light, neutrality and wholeness at the positive end of the spectrum of experience. When you are hanging out there, life is your school and rather than freaking out when the shit hits the fan, you have the wherewithal to pause and wonder “Why is this in my movie?” You are the writer/director/producer of your movie, and I guarantee you put that shitty thing in there for a reason, so find it. Find and receive the gift – and thereby fulfill your karma, stop the f’in cycle of suffering and start delivering on your Dharma. The world is begging you, on bended knees, forehead to the ground, to deliver your best. 

Here are very brief overviews of how each sign will interact with the two big stories I’ve outlined above. Read for your Sun, Moon and Rising signs.

Aries: Will not be challenged by the Uranus changes – you thrive on the new. You will however be leveled by the demand to be responsible to goals (square to Saturn). Saturn will be all over your shit around being grounded, responsible and deliberate in your actions, particularly around a spiritual practice.

Taurus: Brand new, lightening strike of awakening, YAAY YOU!! You will also have a harmonious experience around the demand for responsibility as you are in a good relationship with the Great Teacher.

Gemini: You will be forced to act upon the coming changes in a pointed way; you must follow the fork in the road, taking a NEW PATH, making a NEW CHOICE. Pass this test – it’s vital.

Cancer: Changes are ones you can work with, you’ve got the info and wherewithal. The Saturn in Capricorn angle is confrontational for you – do your best to overcome being overly emotional, which clouds the field. Find neutrality.

Leo: Will face a similar energy to Gemini although softer; you’ve already made most of the changes and the fork in the road is a gentle course correct.

Virgo: Will receive the greatest benefit. Incorporating changes and responsibility will be easy and in your highest good.

Libra: You will also have a fork in the road – TAKE IT! You will explode into a new consciousness on this new road. Your journey will be uncomfortable but clear.

Scorpio: Your experience will be explosive, confronting. Imperative to become responsible to a daily practice – the energies ensure it will be very effective and offer great long-term outcomes.

Sagittarius: Similar to Scorpio, especially with regards to responsibility around practice.

Capricorn: Mighty responsibility however you’ll receive energy and changes harmoniously.

Aquarius: Very disruptive energy – square with Uranus brings instability but also fun and excitement. Ground, ground, ground. 

Pisces: You will receive the energies of shake-up/changes and responsibility in a very productive way.

Hope this helps. Buckle down, get your shit lined up, it’s time to work.

THIS SHIT WORKS

Holiday Greetings from Utah! I'm snuggled in, watching the snow (blowing sideways) and giving myself the gift of long, deep practice.

There is a lot happening astrologically as I'm sure you're aware. The last new moon of the year passed and it's proximity to Saturn's transit into Capricorn, Mercury stationing direct and the Winter Solstice increases it potency - making it an especially good time to set intentions for the coming year. The Moon cycle is roughly a month long, offering us a regular practice of working with a creation cycle - planting seeds, nourishing the new shoots, harvesting the crop and clearing the field to prepare for the next cycle. Here is a great website that clearly explains the phases: http://astromagickal.com/new-moon.html

Here is another website that offers yogic practices to coincide with the moon:

http://www.spiritvoyage.com/blog/index.php/how-do-moon-phases-affect-your-energy/  

And if you're having the thought "Oh no, I've missed the window!", let me say a few words about that. Affirmations and intentions work 24/7. If you set 'new moon' intentions on the first quarter moon, the cosmos is not going to reject them. Intentions work with cosmic law and are powerful any day of the year. The only thing that keeps your intentions from coming to fruition is your own subconscious thoughts about them. If deep down you are running patterns of 'not enough' or 'not worthy' or 'don't deserve' or 'that will never happen' - your intentions will not come to pass. This is why we need to do the work of cleaning out the basement of our subconscious minds - so that we can step into the true reality that we are creators of the highest order, made up of the stuff of God. If we are 'pure of spirit' (got a clean basement because we've cleaned out all the programming we received in our formative years), we can create a reality based on our choices of who/what we want to be - and who we DECLARE ourselves to be - rather than on what the world tells us is valuable. The 'special days' like New Moon, Full Moon, Solstice, Eclipses, etc. are super-charged energetically, which just means we will be amplified if we work deeply on those days. But make no mistake - work deeply every day and the cosmos will match us, helping to create the world of our choosing.

How to create your own reality? If you've been reading my newsletters/blog, you are likely aware that I'm a huge fan of Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan. This yoga is weird to the extreme which is why I tried to reject it - unsuccessfully - for five years. I kept coming back to it because it works. I could feel energy gathering, moving, brightening in my body and auric field for the first time in my life. And the more I came back to it, the stronger it grew. Now I do it every single day and it is a vital part of my functionality. A regular practice will bring up all your shit; as it consistently raises your vibration, the low vibratory places in you are exposed. It's a completely different way of working spiritually; rather than having to go in and dredge up all the crap in your unconscious (from this lifetime and others), you are literally dosing yourself with...I hesitate to say...the truth of Supernal Light and yet that's exactly what it feels like. And that Light clears your shit out, brightens your aura, makes you spacious, allows you to respond to life rather than react. It allows you enough presence in any moment to actually take it in completely to see the truth of it, rather than running every dammed thing through your fucked-up false filters. Doesn't that sound lovely?  I have watched as friends surrender to Kundalini and every one of them becomes increasingly brighter, clearer, happier. Bottom line, this shit works. 

Astrologically, we are in a time of 'The Shit Is Hitting The Fan'. Technically we have come out of a long cycle of being asleep, where confusion, illusion, having no idea who/what we really are, fighting one another for resources, etc. reigned. And although we've entered into an age of awakening, we are literally in the throes of the turnover and those throes are likely to last for the remainder of my lifetime. The old Piscean patriarchy is not going down without a fight; the good news is we know it ultimately will go down - and it will be a nasty fight to the death. This is currently playing out on the world stage in a big way. This time of chaos reminds me of something I learned from scuba diving; wherever two separate bodies of water meet up, the diving is incredibly tumultuous and incredibly rich because every creature under the sun is in those crazy waters. We experienced this in Tobago, where the Caribbean Sea meets the Atlantic Ocean at the very tip of the island. The diving is surreal; the best dive is called 'Washing Machine' and we saw things on that dive that were hard to fathom. And we are without doubt in the washing machine of the meetup of the Ages of Pisces and Aquarius, so best get used to it. And best to get yourself as bright and calm as possible now so that 1) you can survive these times without becoming an addict of some kind (drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, Instagram, Netflix) and 2) you get so bright you are able to help facilitate others into their brightness.

To that end, here are some ideas on how to interact with Kundalini Yoga; classes can be hard to find because it hasn't yet completely taken root in the US. If you live in Los Angeles or New York City, there are Rama Yoga studios owned by my teacher Guru Jagat. Otherwise, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, you can take classes from wherever you are in the world on the Rama website, with either a yearly or monthly membership that is very reasonably priced. Rama's mission is to get these tools out into the world; if you cannot afford a membership, reach out to them and they will work with you. This is a new model of commerce that is about more than money! I do my practice through the website and it is as potent as doing it live in person with the teacher. I know this because I did virtual, on-line classes with Guru Jagat for about 6 months and when I finally decided to drive the hour to Venice to do a workshop, I realized that there was no difference between sitting in the studio or doing it on-line. The full mojo comes through on-line, largely because of her radiance and also because they film it as though you are sitting in the back of the class, so you really get the feeling of the group experience. Apart from daily classes (with a huge archive to choose from), they also offer on-going immersive experiences as well as special workshops that coincide with potent days like Solstice. I follow Guru Jagat mostly and also enjoy Harijiwan, Tej and Harmanjot's classes. Each teacher has a completely different vibe; find the one that works for you.

Ramayogainstitute.com

Sometimes full length classes can feel overwhelming for a beginner so I will offer up my small practice, which is what I do when I don't make time for a long practice. These kriyas clear and fuel me so that I have a higher functionality throughout the day. And when I do them every single day, well, my entire life glows. I created two small videos of my practice, originally for a few women in my Circle who asked for it specifically. Those who are engaging with it are really benefitting, so I've decided to share them. The first video is an explanation of what I'm doing and the second is the actual practice. I would strongly encourage you to watch the first one first so that you can get the most out of the practice. Disclaimer: I AM NOT A KUNDALINI YOGA TEACHER. I am not called to that path. I am a practitioner, sharing my practice. I checked in with a dear friend who is a teacher and she felt my practice was deep enough to warrant my sharing. Another disclaimer: Kundalini is very specific, a technology, so details do matter. That said, as I lengthened into my practice, I could feel some things working for me while others didn't. I could feel my own field respond or not. Trust yourself. Ultimately you are the only expert on you, so once you begin to feel your subtle energy body, allow it's wisdom to lead you rather than the kriyas. The explanations I give in the first video are mine, they are how I have come to feel and know the mantras and kriyas. I encourage you to research the mantras so that you can find your own way into what they mean for you. The individual words are multi-layered to the extreme - there is no single 'interpretation.

Mantras:

Tune-in:
Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo (repeat 3 times)

Aad Guray Nameh
Jugaad Guray Nameh
Sat Guray Nameh
Siri Guru Dayvay Nameh
(repeat 3 times)

Practice:
Sa Ta Na Ma

Sat Nam

Sat Nam Sat Nam Wahe Guru Wahe Guru

Sat Nam (tune-out)

I originally recorded the videos on my iPhone, and am unable to upload them here although I can email a link to a drop box. If you are interested, email me at jaclyngelb@gmail.com

If you aren't interested in the video, you can google each kriya for the specifics. There are videos available for every single one.

SMALL PRACTICE: for all kriyas, I suggest starting with one minute and working your way up to 3 minutes each. The last kriya can be done for 11 or 31 minutes.

1) Tune in.
2) Ego Eradicator
3) Addiction Meditation
4) Fists of Anger
5) Sat Kriya
6) Gyan Chakra Meditation
7) Tune out.

I suggest pausing between each kriya so that you can deepen into the beautiful energy you're creating. These small seven steps CAN CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. (AND NO I'M NOT EXAGGERATING). 

Try it, reject it, hate it, come back to it, find your way into loving it. Report back.

Blessings for a grand 2018!! 

All Love,
Jaclyn

THANK YOU HARVEY WEINSTEIN

Fall Greetings Sweet Humans.

If you're reading this newsletter, you likely have some form of relationship with the subtle inward-looking energies, so I'm sure you're feeling this deep New Moon that just passed, and the final stages of Saturn in Sagittarius. Saturn is 'the great teacher', the maker and bringer of lessons. If Earth is a school, Saturn is the Headmaster. And in Sagittarius the syllabus is about transparency and authenticity. As Saturn prepares to leave Sagittarius on December 19th, there is a big push to make sure all the lessons have been presented, so the energy will intensify. The hidden will become known, those areas that have been veiled in delusion will come to light. Those places where we've all been complicit in collective illusion will be brought to our attention in a big way. Hmmm. Any of this sounding familiar? **

For me personally, what's up in the collective with regards to what I'll call 'The Harvey Weinstein Effect' is an incredible gift to humanity. All this time I thought HW came to Earth to present beautiful films that stir our hearts and imaginations. Now I realize he also came to be a very toxic male energy that was vile to the extreme, so that when exposed, we could not demur and look away. We have all been complicit in his behavior. And by 'his' I mean the toxic masculine. I've been complicit by ignoring and pushing aside years of unwanted sexual touch and advances. I was complicit in college when I was date raped; although I told everyone about it - to warn them to stay away from that guy - I did not even consider going to the police and pressing charges as I should have. I didn't even have a concept that I had a right not to be raped. This is an uncomfortably familiar story in the feminine collective. We have for generations somehow passed on this gene of passivity, complacency, the thinking that as long as we come out of it alive, we're good. And Harvey Weinstein took it SO far, he finally ignited the voice of a solitary woman. And her courage spread so much that women are awakening en masse to the fact that HOLY SHIT WE HAVE A VOICE. And the good men of America are holding the container for this truth to be known and flourish. That's a lot.

In my personal interaction with the HW Effect, I am investigating why I stayed silent all my life up to this point. What drove that? Why did I never call out the ones who treated me inappropriately? In my head I say because I never really cared about their advances, they did not harm me personally because I thought they were just jerks, mesmerized by their penises, 'bad' men, who could never actually touch the truth of me. Now I realize that by not defending myself, I gave them permission to continue to act that way with me AND WITH OTHER WOMEN - woman who maybe didn't have the tools to hold themselves in the midst of that. Women who might make it mean something about themselves, that they are weak, unworthy, or ___________. We all have a responsibility to speak out against injustice for ourselves, yes, and also for others. We will only change this culture of silence together.

So thanks to Harvey Weinstein, I am finding my voice in a new way. I'm noticing when I silence or coerce myself during the course of a day. The other evening I received a call from the Geffen Theater, asking for money to support its program that brings inner-city kids in to see theater shows. I typically cut these calls off immediately, saying NO THANK YOU and hanging up but I'm a member of the Geffen so I thought the call was about that. As he began his spiel, I noticed my body become weary with the thought "DANG IT now I'm going to have to donate money to a cause I don't care about." And this time I really heard that thought and was all "OH NO YOU DONT!" and when he finished I politely told him that while it sounded like a lovely program, it wasn't in my donating dollars wheel house. THAT FELT SO GOOD. While this may seem small, IT'S HUGE YA'LL. Every time we remain silent or do something that doesn't jive with our authentic values, we weaken our boundaries, we leak our precious energy and power. Every time. And when we get comfortable doing it with small things, it becomes very easy to do it with bigger things. This is the road to chronic disempowerment which has been the feminine condition for millennia. Thus the HW Effect.

So using our lives as Course Work, this is an excellent time to dive into your own story around Voice and Power. How do you relinquish it on the regular? How do you hold your boundaries in the face of a toxic masculine? In my own inquiry, I was shocked by the speed and depth of the revelations - it was like a river whose dam burst. This stuff is right below the surface yet has remained hidden. And knowing about it will change everything. As we reclaim our voices, it's VITAL that we speak from a place of self-honoring rather than defending against or judging the other. Self-honoring aligns us with the Divine Feminine, while defending and judging only fuel the toxicity. Standing in self-honoring allows the masculine to find his own voice of honor - this is the way forward now. 

Be brave, go deep, leave no stone unturned. And sing - it will help your voice to emerge powerfully and beautifully. Report back.

At this season of Thanks-Giving, I am grateful for you, for your willingness to be here reading these words, adding your voice to the human healing collective. I'm grateful for your wisdom, your heart, your unique gifts that you deliver with style and generosity. Thank you for working to be your best self, striving to live your highest life, for in doing so you elevate all others. I love you. Also, a shout out to all those who personally experienced Harvey Weinstein's atrocious behavior. I offer you love, compassion, hope and healing. Thank you for your part in this tremendous moment of awakening.

Lastly, a genuine and heart-felt Thank You Harvey Weinstein. Your actions are moving mountains.

**Thank you Dr. Michael Lennox for the crux of this teaching.

DE-GRIEFING

Years ago I was in a sweat lodge in the capacity of an 'elder', holding the ones in the lodge as they moved through an initiation I had transitioned through a few years prior. For me, the heat, darkness and sanctity of sweat lodge allows so much to dislodge inside me, old stuck energies that get burned up in the fire. It's incredibly powerful work. That night, the lodge was packed and there was barely room to breathe. And it was really, really hot. As it progressed, I managed to fold myself into child's pose, my belly between my knees, my forehead to the earth. As the participants softened and opened, they began wailing, first one, then a few, then all of them. The energy was unbelievable - lifetimes of grief pouring like a tide that had been held back for eons. I did not wail as I was not in lodge to journey with them; I was there to assist in holding their journey. Suddenly I felt their collective grief like a swirling vortex of supercharged energy, tunneling right into the back of my heart, through my body and down into the earth. My first thought was fear, because the energy was HUGE and felt like it could tear me apart. And then I noticed it was simply moving through me as I grounded it into the dirt. It wasn't actually affecting me in any way. I was a channel for it to ground. That night changed my life, shifted my understanding of the human vessel, showed me what a body could hold and move. Since then, I allow grief to move through me whenever it comes. 

Grief encompasses a whole compliment of heavy emotions - rage, anguish, resentment, desolation, dejection, despair. These unexpressed emotions live inside all of us and are most often what we talk ourselves out of feeling, because we want to avoid pain and because of an underlying belief that these dark places will kill us. The part of us that fears death is the ego - the illusion of separation that many of us use as an operating system for our whole lifetime. Awakening is realizing that we are more than our ego with its false beliefs. We are more than our stories, our thoughts, our secrets, our weaknesses. We are multi-dimensional creator gods with abilities, proclivities and capacities beyond our imaging. When we begin to embody this understanding, absolutely everything about our lives change. A major component of this work is clearing our physical vessel of the gunk of lifetimes, like steam cleaning an engine. And grief is extremely viscous gunk that adversely affects our entire being. The good news is that we don't necessarily have to understand what we're clearing and releasing - we just have to be willing to lay on the ground and wail, allowing it to simply move through and out of us. And when we're done, we can literally get up, dust ourselves off and carry on as before. No need to build an alter to the grief, process or assign it any meaning. Only to keep moving forward, minus the grief.

Are you up for this work? Can allow yourself to let go of your grief? Can you know that it won't kill you? Are you safe enough within your own skin to hold yourself and let it go? I'm not talking about feeding it with stories about why you should be grieving - that's just drama. I'm talking about opening yourself, accessing wherever it lives in you and then screaming, breathing, crying it out. When we learn to do this, and when we soften (and strengthen) enough to hold the whole human story, we become channels for collective grief. It is bigger than we can imagine and yet it will not kill us if we allow it to simply move through the container of our bodies and into the earth. And we're not just in service to the feminine here because men carry this grief as well; on an archetypal level, the masculine is well aware of its role in the trauma writ large in the feminine story. And men have had plenty of trauma themselves, in the endless cycles of competition and war over resources, in lifetimes of strictly serving the ego.

The masculine and feminine, in their highest, divine expressions, yearn for balance because only in balance can they be fully expressed. One cannot be completely fulfilled without the balanced dance and interplay with the other, for truly they are two sides of a single coin. (Please note, I am not speaking strictly of 'couple' experiences, i.e. marriage. I am not saying "You are nothing without a man". I'm talking about the wholeness within the Self, where we are in a constant dance of our own masculine and feminine energies. I am talking about wholeness within all of our relationships, with fathers, mothers, siblings, friends, beloveds, partners.) When a woman can fully embody the fullness of her Divine Feminine energy, she invites the Divine Masculine to the party.

What is the Divine Feminine exactly? It is the eternal, unchanging Principle that is our connection to Source – to Love, Creation, Nature. She is the Mother, the embodiment of Love, the vessel of unification, the physical with the eternal. She is Kali, a fierce warrior who destroys illusions. She is the Magdalene, the compassionate healer. She is the Oracle, the seer, the keeper of Wisdom and Balance. She is the Lover and the Dancer, who engages Earth energies like Wonder and Magic, who delights in the pleasures of the senses. She is womb, water, flow, life, stillness, enjoyment. Joy. She is the initiator, always, as everything comes through the Feminine.

And so as women, it's time to initiate. It's time to do our clearing work, to release our grief, to build up our nervous systems so that we can hold - and live from - the bigger truth of what we are. No more playing small. We deserve the best of everything. And the world deserves the best of us.