Still in the Wormhole

Wow.  I am deep in the washing machine of this month's crazy geometry.  We had the Full Solar Eclipse at the New Moon Spring Equinox that kicked things off last week and we're in the spin cycle until the Full Moon Full Lunar Eclipse on April 4th (which will be visible from North America!!)  Every year we have this wormhole and every year I ride it entirely and feel it profoundly.  This year the geometries have some absolutely astounding symmetries, allowing us to go deeper than ever before.

There are thousands (if not millions) of sites that write about these geometries and every one has a slightly different spin.  Each of us will have a unique experience based on our birth charts.  The bottom line for me is that I can feel the solidity of my constructed world falling away; it has been getting less and les dense over the past months and during this wormhole, I feel like I can blow it apart with my breath, like those dandelion balls I used to blow on as a kid.  A new layer of truth is being revealed about this Reality and it's big ya'll.  Karma is a construct we created out of the extreme density of this realm.  We carry all this crap forward from every incarnation and then we think the only way to get rid of it is to balance it by 'paying' it back.  Karma is bunk.  We were never meant to carry anything other than the jewel of the experience forward.  We lost sight of that truth eons ago, and it's starting to make its way back into our collective consciousness as the energies quicken and we realize our multi-dimensional selves.  If you are living strictly in the 3D, this sounds like gibberish to you and you should likely find a different blog to read, one that is fully steeped in the density of matter, the suffering, the war, the struggle.  If you are reading this and some part of you awakens ever so slightly, perhaps you should read on.  When we reclaim our fullness as multi-dimensional creator beings, we break the cycle of karma. I'll say that again. WHEN WE RECLAIM OUR FULLNESS AS MULTI-DIMENSIONAL CREATOR BEINGS, WE BREAK THE CYCLE OF KARMA.  And during this wormhole we have the very real possibility of simply laying down our karma. TO SET IT DOWN and continue forward free and clear to create from our purest urge, not from our past crap.  Setting  down our karma means allowing ourselves to see, truly see, with all our infinite number of 'eyes' the whole truth of ourselves, light and dark, and to accept and love ourselves in all of it.

A major practice we could be in RIGHT NOW to support this process is a simple bringing in of Light everyday.  This is going to sound really trite and try it anyway.  Barring a really long and probably boring explanation, the multi-dimensional part of you can be summed up as pure white Light.  You still have the phone number of God/Creator/Great Sprit/Whatever You Call It.  You can simply sit in meditation and with the breath, bring pure white Light from the cosmos through the crown of your head and down into your belly region.  If you don't know what that's about, just imagine a beam of pure white Light coming down from the sky into the top of your head and into your belly.  Now condense the light into a really powerful ball, then spread that Light into your heart (hold it there for a few minutes) and then spread it into your whole body, into your whole house, into your town, into your state, into your country and then throughout the whole planet. LEAVE THAT LIGHT THERE, and pull your attention back to your own body which is still completely infused with Light, and then 'merge' with Divine Light, God Light, Pure Truth.  And then, as you go about your day, infuse every situation with that Light.  Just infuse every area of your life with that Light.  Read an article about fracking?  Infuse fracking with that white Light.  Someone nearly creamed you on the freeway?  Infuse that person and yourself with Light.  Your 14-year-old daughter jack-hammering your quietude?  Infuse both of you with Light.  You don't have to see or create any outcome; just see the situation and infuse it with pure white Light. Do that for a while and see what changes in your life.

For myself, I am being uber present to my kundalini yoga practice as well, as it is allowing my physical body to hold the Light.  I follow Guru Jagat at Rama Yoga Institute for Applied Science and Technology.  All of her classes are game-changing and she televises each and every one so that you can do it from your own home.  Rama-tv.com.  Tara Matthew's Art of the Daily Practice is also a good source.  When I first started doing kundalini yoga, I had a ten year practice of let's just call it Flow Yoga.  I hated kundalini, thought it was weird, and was just simply like "NO".  Thankfully my beautiful teacher at the time, Rev. Kate Roger, had taught/reminded me how to work through resistance and I broke through into the unspeakably beautiful jewel that kundalini offers me.  Resistance can be our deep knowing that this is truly not for us and resistance can be our ego saying no, don't go down there, you'll wake up from the illusion that you ARE your ego and then where will I be?  

Bust through. Truly live, multi-dimensionally, in all your glory.  And then share that glory/Light with the world.  Please.  Thank you.

March

Blessings Beloveds! This month of March is a doozy. Lots happening planetarily and the good news is when we move through it with consciousness, we actively create our experience and get the best ride, like catching a wave and surfing it to the end. The big players this month are the Pluto/Uranus Square, a solar eclipse and the Spring Equinox. This P/U square has been with us since last June and will culminate this month on the 17^th, the same day the eclipse portal opens. The Pluto/Uranus Square is all about dismantling and destruction, which essentially entails burning down the house. The energies have been so intense that we have not really had a choice in the matter. Some planetary aspects are sort of ‘voluntary’ in that we can look away, hide out under the covers and become more entrenched in our illusions so that we are not consciously affected.  Not so this one; within this portal, everything burns whether we’re ready or not. We have been up to this for at least eight months and for me personally, it has been a somewhat gentle process, although yes, everything has changed again and again to the point where my life is hardly recognizable. Throughout we are asked to release and let go of that which is naturally falling away – hopefully with grace and ease – so that the next iteration of our lives can spring forth. Barring grace and ease, this can be an incredibly messy, bloody process, a real mf'er as it were. If this is your experience, just breath, meditate, deepen your self care and know that the end of this particular cycle is near. The end of this month might be a good time to journal around “Who am I now that I’ve released this story, pattern, belief, behavior, person, job, house, town? (You get the picture). What’s next? What do I want my life to look like in six months? For the next year, for the next 10 years?” You get to construct it, so why not do it mindfully? You are the architect, designer, contractor and builder.

 

We are tremendously helped in this deconstruction/letting go/rebuilding by this eclipse season. We have a total solar eclipse on March 20^th – total equals maximum intensity - followed hours later by the Spring Equinox and the New Moon.  Eclipses are pause moments, where we get to reboot the system and integrate all the wisdom/upgrades we’ve accumulated on our journey towards higher consciousness. This, preceded by the last Pluto/Uranus Square and followed by an Equinox New Moon makes for a dramatic portal of destruction, releasing, integrating and then turning towards what’s next. We get to plant our new seeds of Spring from a beautifully purified vantage point, on the other side of this intense experience the planets have led us through and held for us. How great is that?!

 

 How can we move through this month mindfully? I would begin with journaling/reflection. Journaling is most powerful as it opens avenues of often hidden thought and information that then get to come into the 3D so that we may examine and work with them. I would suggest journaling about how your life has changed over the past year. What has fallen away? Can you see why it was with you and what it taught you? Who are you now that you experienced it? Can you see why it had to fall away? Who are you now that you’ve let it go? Is there more you can release? What’s the best way to do that? I find when I ask myself the question, the answer inevitably follows. I will wake up with it, or it will simply show up in my consciousness. We can also support ourselves this month with ceremony, honoring where we’ve been, where we are now and where we’re going. Then we get to ride the energy of the Spring Equinox, the sun’s ‘new year’ when it enters the first house of the zodiac, Aries. This sign is all about creation and movement, with a bullet, through any terrain. So get to it. Consciously create what’s next. The world is waiting with baited breath to see your brilliance evolve and shine!!

February's Gifts

Brilliant Ones! My goodness, spring has sprung in Southern California, and particularly in my orchard, which is awash in new blossoms. The walnut trees have announced themselves in their typical grand style and the citrus are beginning to perfume the air with a scent that makes me swoon. And of course the grasses are the indescribable green of brand new beginnings. Like the orchard, I can feel the endless possibilities of ‘What Will Be’ stirring within me. This time of year is always a bit confusing to my body, as it is still technically winter and yet Spring has most definitely arrived. And then we will have a cold spell and winter will reassert itself and then it will turn warm again, and so on. Spring brings to mind thoughts of cleaning out, clearing out, beginning anew. And yet it’s not quite time, as winter has not fully run its course. The seeds are not quite ready to break ground. And so we renew our commitment to nurturing the seeds we planted as intentions perhaps at the Winter Solstice, perhaps at the New Year, or both. Revisit your hearts, your journals, anywhere you recorded your intentions for 2015. Ask the vision of your life how it wants to be served; now is the time to start laying the ground for what will reveal itself as you this year. Dream. Envision. Re-empower your commitments. Make that phone call, schedule that appointment, have that conversation. When Spring arrives in March, it has an energy and momentum that is undeniable and wildly useful. Be ready to jump in and work with it fully so that your vision for your life is wholly supported by your actions. When in doubt, or when you have choices to make, pick the one that most supports your vision. Ask yourself again and again “Does this choice/action/thought support my vision for my life?” Listen to the answer, you are infinitely wise!
 

On another note, we are deeply in Mercury Retrograde and will be until the 11^th. This is a particularly powerful cycle; in the outside world it is seen as the great interrupter of travel, communications and the like. We are told not to initiate projects or sign contracts, etc. This is essentially because Mercury (ruler of the mind) in its retrograde period takes us deeply into our interior, and ultimately into an underworld of sorts. As we are essentially in another realm during this time, it can be a deeply nutritious dive if we work with it consciously. The retrograde phase brings us we closer to the spirit world; we are more oriented in our right-brain, where intuition and heightened sensitivities live. We have deeper inner sight; we can see and feel things about ourselves and others that have perhaps been hidden. (Hidden because we don't want to see, we don't want to know.) In this place, we tend to question our perceptions, to question everything, which allows us to re-orient, re-evaluate, re-invent. It can be very powerful work!!

 

The new moon in Aquarius happens on February 18^th, when Mercury is stationing direct, meaning it no longer gives the impression of moving backward and now appears motionless in the sky. This is the time we get to integrate all that the retrograde phase brought up for us. Good stuff!  That, coupled with the new moon, is a fruitful time to work, so let’s get to it!

  And, just because, I will take this moment to offer my deepest gratitude to all who use this blog and my Circle to dive into the adventure of knowing yourselves more authentically. When you shine a light on your own being, you light up the entire world and I am eternally grateful to you for that.

 

 

January Newsletter

Greetings Beloved Ones!

Sending Bright New Year’s Blessings to each of you. I trust this finds you settling nicely into a new solar spin. As last year’s energies were over lit with ‘spiritual exploration’, 2015 is all about the ‘abundant and new’. We are being asked to do things differently. From our overriding growth of last year - finding our footing, allowing ourselves to see and incorporate all aspects of ourselves, warts and all - we are now being asked to be this expanded being in the world. We are being asked to dismantle and release the way we do just about everything so that our newly revealed authentic selves may dictate how things are going to roll from here on out. This means allowing our hearts full reign to act as boss. That’s it.

 

For myself, for starters, it means releasing my age-old conversation that I am not a morning person, that’s it’s really hard for me to get up out of bed early. This does not mean I work through it, no. It means I say “F---  it, I’m done with that conversation. I’m releasing that thought form into the dirt as it were, just giving it back to the field of illusion from which it arose. Thank you illusion, for all you held and taught and now goodbye. I’m going to just start getting up to do my kundalini practice first thing before the school run. I’m going to let the larger yes of my commitment to kundalini and myself override the illusion of no.  So I get out of bed. And on the mornings I don’t, it’s not a big deal. I am gentle with myself. My skipping a day does not mean anything other than I skipped a day. I simply get up the next day. And as it turns out, I’m actually fine getting up early and am finding myself quite the eager morning person on my mat. Also, regular kundalini is changing absolutely everything about how I am showing up as my life. Thank you Breath, thank you Spaciousness!

 

And so, let’s start this year off with some clear sight. The new moon in Aquarius, exact tomorrow (Tuesday) at 5:14am PST, brings us the gift of new perspective, and since it is in the first degree of Aquarius, in brand new territory as it were, this potent new moon supports us in activating and initiating what’s next. We have spent an entire year facing the karma of our past; let’s release what we’ve worked through and create what’s next and true for us. Let’s allow our hearts to lead so that we are ‘drawn by the stronger pull of that which we truly love’ (Rumi). Let’s delegate our minds to simply noticing what’s present for us. Our thoughts about what’s present are not meaningful…let them float through. Notice what you need to see in order to shine light on and release old patterning. And check in with the heart again and again and again. It knows…

 

Inner Gangsta

In the 6th grade when she was 12 years old, my daughter discovered rap music and fell head-long in love, her first love really.  My skinny, long-limbed, sparkly spoiled Southern California white princess dropped into it HARD.  She went from Macklemore to Eminem to Dr. Dre to Snoop Dog (the chronic) and the like.  She went from rainbow sparkles to black on black, head-bands and bows to thick black eye-liner and Doc Martens.  We let her listen to whatever she wanted, as she was going to anyway, sanctioned by us or not.  She started out with the clean versions of everything which for some songs is really just humming; by 7th grade, she made her way into the explicit.  And so every morning, when we get into the car for our 25 minute drive to school, she's the DJ, and anything goes.

I have a mind that likes a bone; I love riddles and koans and anything that keeps my monkey mind busy so that I can get on with living from my heart.  And my mind learns lyrics really well, always has.  So when I listen to rap for at least an hour a day, the same songs over and over again, my brain learns every single word after a while.  And so we sing these lovely ballads together in the car "I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck, I don't, I don't, I don't give a fuck, bitch I don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do..."  The nastier the lyrics, the more fun we have singing them at the top of our lungs, like we're really extra cool.  (Sometimes we discuss the songs and use them for discourse on human nature but that's a different post.)  On the mornings where I tell my daughter I just can't face her music that day, she says "Come on mom, it's our jam, it's how we do", which works every time because how am I going to deny my girl our jam?  And you know what?  I am beginning to understand something about rap music - albeit from an affluent white woman in her 50's perspective.  It speaks to the gangster in me, that totally bad ass 'I'm a fuck you up' girl who doesn't take any shit from anyone.  Who fights back.  Who calls it as she sees it, without fear.  When I was a girl, Bruce Springsteen was about as close as I got to this.  Bruce told me to get the hell out of Jersey and I listened.  I bolted the summer after high school and never looked back.  When I listen to E Street radio now, I realize how influential Bruce Springsteen was back then; how his lyrics allowed me to find a place in me that knew that yes, I too needed to get the hell out.  I too was born to run, to break free and hide out on the back streets.  Those songs and those lyrics became my anthem, my riding music, and they gave me the courage to be that girl who ran away from everything she knew.

Rap is doing the same with my girl.  It is allowing her to explore this really tough bitch who lives inside of her and is basically like "eff you, I'm a do shit my own way."  Sometimes I know she is picking a song on purpose to sing the lyrics to me, as a message she can't otherwise say ("bitch shut yo trap").  The more I witness this, the more I see the value of her inner gangsta; it's allowing her to explore that raw power - without being incited to violence or misogyny.  And interestingly enough, she has also gone back to listening to the sound track of High School Musical, which is almost sickly sweet in its straight-laced idealism.  So rap is not necessarily informing who she is in the outside world; it is just exposing her to a side of herself she can own, integrate and use when necessary - a tough girl who is capable of handling herself, sticking up for herself and having her own back.  Like Snoop Dog, she is the shiiit, beeitch....

Anyway, as it turns out, there is a down side.  I definitely overuse 'motha fucka' and quite often find that after hours of hearing (and sometimes singing along) with a song in my head, what I'm actually singing is something along the lines of "take a bullet with some dick and get this dope off this jet."  I do find myself dreaming of the day when my daughter has her own car and her own jam.  And I can go back to my jam of yoga chants and the like. 

I ain't never gonna give up my inner gangsta tho, no.  That ho is way too bad ass to let go...

December's Gifts

Each month I hold a Feminine Energy Circle at my house. All kinds of interesting women come, we open an energetic vortex of sacred space, we share, we cry, we celebrate, and then we breathe. We breathe a rhythmic breath for a long time, and stuck energies get to move up and out of our bodies and energetic fields. And each time we are a little bit freer. Sometimes a lot freer. I cannot tell you how gratifying it is to watch women come back month after month, lighter, brighter, more themselves. It is the best work of my lifetime next to parenting and I am so thankful I get to do it! 

Each month I send out an email invitation, with a few words about the planetary energetics of that particular month. The planets are constantly moving, constantly creating geometric patterns within which we live our lives, largely unaware of the huge influence the resonance of these cosmic beings and their creative geometries have on, oh, EVERYTHING. I am a dabbler at best in sacred geometry which makes it easy for me to present it really simply, in a way that I hope is practical. In an effort to energize my blog, I am going to share these monthly musings with you, the Internet. You're welcome?


DECEMBER
Greetings Beloveds! I hope December finds you warmed by the inner fires of devotional self-love and care. I have spent the entire day in my warm house, drinking cup after cup of herbal tea, catching up on everything I ignored over Thanksgiving week. I am so grateful for the copious rain falling in Southern California even now; I can feel the earth’s lushness as she soaks it in - and all her plant and animal friends get to bask in the blessing of water!

December’s prevailing energies are decidedly un-water like and are mostly about fire. Fire is a fast-moving transformative element; things can change in the blink of an eye into something entirely different, something heretofore unknown. We are supported in this energetic by the on-going Pluto-Uranus Square which is about destabilizing and/or dismantling old structures, patterns, ways of being. The transformation the world has undergone since 2012 is largely due to this influence and we get another dose of it this month as it goes exact this weekend with the full moon. We are given yet another opportunity to release ourselves from our self-imposed prison of who we think we are. We have another opportunity to see beyond ourselves, to see how our stories and beliefs about ‘self’ and the world keep us stuck in habitual patterns like a hamster on a wheel. We run and we run and we wind up where we started. This month we get an added push to simply stop, get off the wheel and look around. We have the ability to give ourselves up, to simply release any notion of ‘knowing’ and let it all fall away.  This may be scary for our personality, to let everything go, as our personality cannot conceive of a beingness beyond itself. Our souls know that who we truly are lies outside the construct of personality, so lean into the deeper wisdom of your soul while assuring your personality it isn’t doing to die. It may get a pretty good make-over though ;-)

For me, so much of this work of letting it all go takes place in the inner planes, where thoughts don’t reach. I feel this happening as I go about my daily life; my only ‘job’ is to watch and notice where it is I move from. When I run into constriction of any kind (any feeling that doesn’t feel good) I am learning to just stop and look at it. Where is it coming from? Most of the time it is my personality reacting to a thought. When I go beyond personality and connect to the endless stillness at the heart of my heart, the constriction vanishes and I can simply be with what is. This is the gift of December for me, leaning into what is.

So this month I will focus on 'What can I let go of?'  What old crusty tired thought form is begging for release?  And who will I be without it?  (Liberated and peaceful spring to heart and that's just a start...)

 

Happy releasing!

 

 

I Have A Dream

 

      The world is spinning faster now, can you feel it?  The energy is ramping up, day by day, minute by minute even.  I don't know about you - sometimes I feel like I've cycled through three different iterations of myself before lunch.  The amount of energy and information both seen and unseen that is available to us right now is unheard of; the level and speed of change is breath-taking.  The human 'experiment' is in a critical phase.  What we do now means more than it possibly ever has.  Those who have placed their attention solely on the phenomenal aspects of this world may not weather the changes as well as those who have peeked behind the curtain.  Those who use their attention to know and navigate multiple-level reality will likely have more tools to align their bodies and fields to the constantly quickening resonance that's happening now.  Those who aren't aware of the deeper truth of themselves may lose their center more easily.  Headlines show this is already happening, particularly among young people.

     What to do?  Real and true self-inquiry is always a great place to start.  Meditation too, and yoga, particularly Kundalini Yoga as it literally is the technology of opening and moving energy and preparing the body to hold more and more resonance.  And, more immediately, we can begin to find our way into our essential nature of Joy.  Can you imagine the world if we all insisted on being in Joy all the time?  Can you conjure how we would navigate conflict resolution - if both sides steadfastly INSISTED on being in Joy?  Win/win solutions, compromise, team work, clear priorities - these would be just the start.  Imagine if you, in your Abundance, came across someone who did not have enough food, shelter, safety, love, etc.  If you, insisting on living from Joy, would happily share from your overflow?  Imagine how society would be transformed!  In Joy we are all teammates, with a common goal of always feeling good - deeply good, not the fleeting good-like buzz we get from escapism.  I'm talking about true, sustainable good, based on something real, like Communion, Friendship, Right Relationship, Love, Compassion, Stewardship, Responsibility.  This kind of good is real and sustainable because it is the essential nature of the Universe and therefore of you for you are a tiny microcosm of the entirety of the Universe/God. 

     How do we find Joy?  In every moment, with every choice, pick the thing that resonates Joy.  Pick the thing that benefits the whole world, because believe it or not, your every thought affects the entire cosmos.  Ask yourself constantly, What brings me Joy?  What makes me happy?  Allow the answer to come from your soul knowing, not from the ego.  The ego will give you the easy, fake answer nine times out of ten, because the ego is invested in who you are right now and is not much interested in who you dream of being - and in who the world is now insisting you become.  If you transform yourself into a Joyful Being, the ego won't recognize itself and so of course it fights for its perceived survival.  Assure your ego you will not (cannot) kill it, that you are just going to use it for what it's good for (objective noticing) and that you are going to let your heart lead you.  You are going to let what brings you Joy inform your decisions.  Throw yourself over that cliff, see how that feels...

     This dream of a world where we all live in Joy is not a pipe dream - it is actually attainable.  In fact it's available right now, in this very moment, by each of us simply making our minds up to first understand the nature of Joy and then to unfailingly recognize it in every moment.  Joy's nature is eternal; it is always everywhere present as it is a vibration that never not is.  It exists eternally.  We do not have to 'find' it.  We simply need to get quiet enough to tune in with it vibrationally.  We as human beings know how to do this (we're wired for it) and if you have forgotten how, ask Joy to teach you.  Ask, and then get even more quiet so that you can listen.  Joy speaks softly - and it ALWAYS answers.

 

 

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